Transgender Youth: A Reader's Concerns

From a reader:
I just wanted to make you aware of something that is going on a lot in the various trans communities on reddit: they are falling all over themselves encouraging underage kids to order and take puberty blockers/hormones without doctor supervision and without their parents knowing.
Example one:
“Just do your best to get a job, or ask your parents for allowance and order meds online. You probably can’t buy much with the amount a 14 year old would make, but it’s better than nothing, since you’re that upset about it.”
Example two:
A fourteen year old kid (same kid that is featured here btw:, is encouraged to get puberty blockers without his parents knowing about it.
Example three:

I’m not allowed to transition, even socially, I’m stuck in a sticky situation… from asktransgender

In this post, commenters tell the kid that “puberty blockers have no side effects” (
They also tell him to “Just DIY secretly. Make friends with a transgender who lives near your area and ask them to help you get hormones.” (
Telling 14 year old kids to befriend random adults for favors is absolutely appaling.
And lastly: yesterday, that same kid made a post titled “What’s the safest way to DIY hormones(mtf, age 14)” (
And again, the posters are being very “helpful”, telling the kid to go ahead and import presciption drugs illegaly and behind the backs of his parents. Some posters tell him that it is dangerous, but they are downvoted. The kid also explicitly says that his pediatrician has advised against blockers and hormone treatment, but that is apparently not relevant to the good posters at r/asktransgender.
I’ve read a lot of this kids’ posts, and not surprisingly his parents are extremely rigid enforcers of gender stereotypes. He’s not allowed to grow out his hair or paint his nails.

91 thoughts on “Transgender Youth: A Reader's Concerns

    1. I think it’s important that people see what is going on in these communities. Thanks for posting it to your blog, Gallus 🙂
      This is a young kid who is being held to very strict gender stereotypes by his parents. He desperately wants more personal freedom of expression, and finds a community that, instead of telling him “it’s ok for boys to be feminine and go traditionally “girly” things”, tells him to self medicate with dangerous medications. Over the course of a few months he has gone from questioning his identity to wanting to take hormones. It’s terrifying. The people egging him on have NO IDEA what is going on in his life.

      1. It’s cult mentality as well as gross pseudo-science. They don’t need context and they don’t want to be unbiased listeners or impartial advice givers; they want to see another youth join their ranks, even if he does it illegally, against his own doctor’s concerns, and without his parents knowing. It’s dangerous and wrong.

    2. If you look at what some people have said, they recommended against them, because they said it was unsafe, and also, I believe you forgot to put the right pronouns for her, you used he/him/his.

      1. Gotcha. Our concerns are that a child is being egged on to do an end-run around his parents to illegally purchase hormones that could cause sterility — or to procure them from an adult stranger. Your concern is that people are using “he” and “him” when discussing the situation on the internet. Yes, “some people” told the child it was unsafe. Did you? Or was it your priority to instruct people on the use of trans-approved pronouns?

      2. It’s a boy. He wants to paint his nails and grow out HIS hair, you dipshit. HE is male, and being abused and gaslighted by people like you who think only girls can paint their nails and wear their hair long.

      3. sticks and stones may break my bones (they will heal), names will never hurt me (call me him, her, it, I don’t care, what you call me has absolutely no effect on me), hormones will cause permanent affects to a child’s body, ruin his/her’s reproductive options as an adult, and quite probably lead to an early death.
        The world is mad and stupidity has run amok. Wearing short hair does not make a girl a boy, and wearing long hair does not make a boy a girl. And there is NOTHING genetic about wanting to wear nail polish, and it has absolutely nothing to do with gender (not with ones own, and not with the gender that one is attracted to.) Shame on the boys parents for forcing their own ideas of what is acceptable for boys onto their son, but a far bigger shame to the internet trolls encouraging this boy to ruin his life by self-medicating with drugs (instead of helping him build self-confidence, encouraging him to hold out for the magic age of 18 when he can cosmetically do whatever he wishes in regards to hair length and nail color, encouraging him to find a counselor who could mediate between him and his parents……REAL solutions to his problems, instead of the non-solutions that will only create more problems for him.
        Because reality is, he is a HE. Wearing long hair and nail polish does not change that.

  1. I don’t know the exact effects of pubert blocking drugs, but I’ve always been told (by various sources) that they’re safe to take, but, there are risks with any medication you take. I feel for these kids I really do, but they need to go down the right route. ST5 7RU gp (general practitioner for those outside the UK) should be made aware and be able to monitor any medication someone is on for their / your / our own good. I’ve been taking HRT since 1999, and only had to stop in March 2013 after suffering a heart attack – the HRT I was on thickened my blood, which was brilliant for the nose bleeds I’ve had since being a teenager, but no good for my heart.
    I’ll add more later should GM allows, but I have to make a move now (job interview).

    1. So you never took blockers and don’t know the ‘exact effects’ but because various internet babble says it is A-OK, you are willing to let minor children experiment with their lives…and to think people wonder why trannies should NEVER be allowed to be in positions where they can influence children.
      It simply isn’t enough that you fucked up your own life…you actively condone CHILDREN fucking up theirs. That makes you a sick individual…in more ways than one.

    2. Actually, no, they are NOT “safe to take.” Lupron is an extremely dangerous drug even when used as directed. It has not been studied AT ALL for preventing puberty in healthy adolescents who express a desire to appear as though they were born as the opposite sex. Puberty is an extremely important developmental stage with regard to brain development, and NOT ONE scientist has studied what happens to those developing brains when you pump their bodies with drugs which block pubertal developments. One thing that is obvious if you know anything about brain science is that a 12-year old who starts taking Lupron will NOT experience the emotional/cognitive maturation that starts happening during puberty. This is a huge issue because proponents of puberty blocking usually argue that this allows the child time to mature and make a decision about hormonal transitioning as a 15 or 16 year old, rather than as an 11 or 12 year old. However, puberty blockers ensure that it really is someone with the maturity of an 11 or 12 year old making those decisions.

    3. Lupron is used only with caution in adult women (for endometriosis and fibroids) because the side effects can be so severe. No amount of calling them “safe to take” cancels out those risks – it just contributes to the belief that it doesn’t hurt to try giving kids experimental drugs. In a few years we are going to see the consequences of handing these drugs out like lollipops, and those consequences will be horrifying.

    4. Claims they are safe are based on their use in postponing puberty for kids going through early puberty. We are talking about 5 and 6 year olds. Kids using puberty blockers for this purpose have the drugs withdrawn at age 11 or so, and then the natural puberty process happens. There have been no controlled studies about using them to bypass puberty altogether. That’s Frankenstein-level human experimentation.

    5. Adding my voice to say, no there no such thing as “safe” with medications really, it’s about the benefit/risk profile stacking up in which such case any side-effects are considered minimal enough to justify the treatment. This is not the case here, there is nothing there to justify doing this in an otherwise healthy person going through normal changes due to age. In a young person, it is simply dangerous for them to self-medicate, and even worse off the internet where misinformation is rife and people like you that know nothing of their situation can push this and walk away, knowing that if things go bad you’ll take no responsibility for the outcome. That is especially when what they are really experiencing is pretty normal at this age, when they are going through a lot of changes and forming their own identity separate from family and authority figures.
      Secondly, in this situation this is not HRT. What is happening is a normal male hormonal profile is being disrupted, and hormones taken to try and achieve a female hormonal profile or vice versa. That’s not safe either, and is not truly evidence based with the data being inconsistent and limited in quality, and being borrowed from other contexts similar to the situation in children.

    6. oopster74, you seem to be saying that even the HRT was risky. We know hormones are risky but sometimes are given medically because the conditions they may be treating are riskier. But these have traditionally been hormones that are in line with the hormones of the person’s genetic mechanisms (xx or xy). Plus, taking larger doses than needed for correction of a condition is a bad idea with hormones. Giving hormones to change your genetic programming is going way, way, way too far.
      I really wonder about the doctors who do this. Of course, doctors have always experimented with hormones on women. Look at women on “the pill” given way too high doses. Lots of women suffered from that.
      All the body’s hormones are connected and there are feedback loops which can amplify or decrease various ones naturally. For example, I was advised against taking thyroid medication though I appeared to have a borderline problem with thyroid at the time. The reason for this is that once you take the thyroid medication it lowers the production of the natural thyroid, and messes with the system. So, there is a connection of all the hormones to consider, a delicately orchestrated balance. Think of an orchestra with all the various instruments, playing a complicated symphony. It’s more complicated than that, but a good analogy.
      During puberty there are other hormonal things to consider not just a few sex hormones. Consider the whole system and the development of all systems. As one ages, into old age the whole system does various things, like melatonin, which decreases with aging. Sleep will affect melatonin and many other things, like bright light. Even though it’s available at drugstores over the counter in small doses, it could have a bad effect. Nothing compared to more dangerous hormone medications. Other hormones appear to make the person more prone to cardiovascular disease or cancer.
      This is not unrelated to the issue brought up because I’m pointing out that we are dealing with a whole system of hormones, not just a few. With these children, we are rearranging the whole system. Brain development is one thing, but there are others as well. Do we really want to mess with this stuff? Let anyone dress how they want. Especially kids who have always done so. But hormones, not! Not! Not! Not!
      This is a tragedy for these children.

  2. The way these internet echo chambers work is truly terrifying. You see the same thing on a lot of other social sites. Kid comes along, often looking for stuff to do with a TV show they like, and stumbles into a group of people talking about “gender”. Teenagers being both young and impressionable and at the same time completely sure of their own rightness and ability to make adult decisions, the idea of being “not like the other girls/boys” and “special” is deeply alluring. They progress very quickly, just like this boy, from questioning to a “genderqueer” identity to being convinced that gender is the source of all their problems and if only they can start these marvellous drugs ASAP everything will feel better. The fact that their parents often object just ramps up the transgressive allure of their new identity.
    Going through the “No Mum, this is who I REALLY AM NOW!!1!” phase is pretty normal for teenagers, but back in the day it didn’t involve anything much more harmful than putting on too much black eyeliner and listening to miserable music. I recall someone in the comments here a while back saying something like “trans is the new punk”, which was terrifically insightful- this is the new cool, rebellious identity for teenagers who don’t fit in, except rather than forming crappy bands with their friends they’re buying controlled substances on the internet.

    1. I doubt someone would want to be trans for that reason, I mean, trans* people are killed everyday just for being themselves, I doubt she’d want that for herself.

      1. You did not even have the courtesy to read this thread. If you had you would have seen me ask readers to pick a comment name (just one please!) and NOT USE ANON. Jesus. Have a little creativity for christssake.

      2. “Anon” I am going to assume you are very young because I am still a relative whippersnapper and yet remember when it was the height of cool as an ~alternative~ teenager to claim very loudly to be bisexual, even if you quite clearly were not. If the mainstream kids kicked the shit out of you for it, you only became cooler. Children are, to put it mildly, idiots.

      3. Given that the murder rate for trans people last year was 238 worldwide, no, they’re not killed every day.
        Also, the murder rate for trans people in the United States is very low and is nearly non-existent for white trans people. A gender questioning teenager in most parts of the U.S. has little to fear aside from school bullying.
        The martyr complex has really got to go. When the average person finds out how much you guys over-exaggerate anti-trans violence, it really doesn’t help your cause.

      4. I changed it, anon is an internet name given to me by friends, inside joke, a stupid one, but an inside joke nonetheless.

      5. “Trans people are killed every day for just being themselves.”
        Citation, please. One which proves they are killed just because they are trans, and not because–as in one case I stumbled across the other day while researching something else–they got caught trying to cheat their coke dealer, or were–as in another case–the aggressors in a street fight no woman would actually have incited, or whatever other numerous reasons. I guess you could argue both of those people were indeed just being their dumb, reckless, criminal male selves, but I don’t think that’s what you meant.
        Actual women, on the other hand, are indeed killed every day–in droves–just for being themselves. Some of them have been killed by your beloved trans pals. I don’t see you weeping your gentle tears over them here, or decrying their fates. Why is that?

  3. This is horrifying, and criminal. These are not doctors giving medical advice, and even those doctors promoting hormones to children and teens should be investigated.
    There are no long term studies, but most of us reading GM are aware of the horrible consequences (weight gain, diabetes, acne, cancer….) of hormone tx.
    We all remember the Women’s Health Initiative study at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center that recommended adult females to discontinue taking female hormones – what nerve do these frankendokter and internet prescribers and promoters have to promote their fetishes to our youth.
    When I was young we had anti-war and active feminism to engage, and the youth who funnel their hormonal agitation into identity pablum will never have a chance to develop their voice.
    There needs to be a PR effort on behalf of vulnerable youth to publicize the harms of these horrible hormone experiments.
    This is the part of the trans delusion that most greatly offends me, maybe even a tad more than the gall they have to demand I call an XY with peen a woman – they are endangering lives in vulnerable populations.
    OMGoddess, the T community has found an internet anonymous way to groom teens for their fetish. The more I see of this the more I think T is a bona fide branch of pedophilia.

    1. This is the part of the trans delusion that most greatly offends me, maybe even a tad more than the gall they have to demand I call an XY with peen a woman – they are endangering lives in vulnerable populations.
      Yes, the pervy men and their pomo defenders are bad enough but the targetting of children and teenagers like this is completely appalling. It’s abuse, no question, absolutely horrible.

    2. Plain and simple, this is against the law. I’m happy to report it to the police.

    3. Yes there is a strong recurring pedo theme with autogynephiles. From men who identify as little girls to making gross pedo fanpages dedicated to little trans boys and inappropriate comics about children.

      1. I noticed that, some are really nuts with demanding children be put on lupron. Are they still trying to make a 17 year old boy still look like a 9 yearold disabled girl? Women they just wish to remove her uterus/female sex organs .
        and anytime someone asks about the pedo danger to children, in a logical way women do when talking about child safety, I noticed they become enraged and go on the warpath and begin attacking. They did this to another M to trans and treated him like a woman as punishment in the midst of a tantrum.
        You try to explain that children’s safety from sexual predation is important, especially since so many men/sexually maturing boys try to find various ways to ‘get laid’
        They gaslight any pedo questions by acting like you accused them of being pedos! They pretend to miss the point completely when you clearly tell them that any pedo, with nothing to do with GID can start crossdressing, and claim to be trans -just to get access to children under vague male definitions of what a woman is’.
        Pedos already do this, they also just hate older women that can spot them.
        I have never accused anyone, but if someone is supporting legislation that would allow any pedo to gain access to naked children by wearing different clothes, I will remind them there is a danger there and ask them why they would put children in danger like that-because you want to dress up? It is sex segregated because women get raped by men, women are loaded down with children and need that space and women are killed daily by men that want to get their way.. Apparently, pedophile men do not experience this danger if they were large from a young age. They even tend to be the aggressors and use various means of manipulation to gain un supervised access to younger children.
        They posted photos of Michael Bailey’s children, blackened the eyes and made overly sexual comments that bordered on a necrophiliac pedo-fantasy. It amazes me it did not occur to them how bad this made them look. You know, that little red flag goes up when a molestation[and guys have been known to hide in a sewer covered in shit to watch females/children go to the bathroom like it is a sexual act,] threat.
        They even referred to a six year old child as a ‘womb-turd’. Maybe the M to trans thought of himself as a womb turd born out of a man’s ass in a woman-less world. Calling a child that, and involving children in an adult spat is unthinkable to women, but these men see the children as ‘things’ in their sex fantasy as well. That is our future, and women are the first to be blamed when anything goes wrong with what men want.
        What is laughable is that women are being asked to ignore their intuition.

  4. OH DEAR GOD. Yanno, I thought the doctors prescribing this crap to kids was the height of irresponsibility and frankly malpractice, but that ADULTS would go against both parental and medical advice and encourage this kid to befriend strangers to get meds. Seriously, this is just disgusting. Do these people have any sense of responsibility at all? He’s a fucking child!!!!
    I took Lupron as a 39 year old woman to shrink fibroids, and I’m STILL, more than a decade later dealing with the very nasty side effects. I was concerned that one of my children was developing too early and my pediatrician made it clear that puberty blockers were out of the question. And my own research confirms it.
    And from my time on Tumblr, I agree that “gender” is the new punk. And in that regard it should be no big deal. Kids will always find something to rebel with, but the problem with this shit is, these kids are making decisions that can literally kill them, or leave them sterile and worse. Nose piercings and purple hair is one thing, for the most part they can be fixed quite readily. But diabetes, strokes and heart attacks are nothing to fuck around with. Especially as there are absolutely no studies on the long-term effects of this stuff on males, and the studies in females make it clear. HRT WILL KILL YOU. I don’t even want to think about the effects of the combination of HRT and puberty blockers in a pre-pubescent child. What in the hell are these people thinking?
    Listen, if grown ass men want to kill themselves in pursuit of a boner, I say, whatev. But when you drag kids into this fuckery.

    1. The gender cult has the most ridiculous doublethink around puberty blockers.
      “Just give Lupron to any kid who doesn’t conform to their gender stereotype! It can’t hurt!”
      “Lupron isn’t harmless – it has severe side effects”
      “Well, without Lupron, trans kids will DIIIIIIE, so the side effects are worth it”
      “But … most gender-nonconforming kids won’t grow up to be trans, and you’re suggesting submitting them to all the side effects, too”
      “TERF! TERF! TERF! Got a TERF over here! Doxx her, quick!”

  5. What a betrayal. Adults are supposed to guide and protect kids. These adults are pretending to do that, but instead they’re actually encouraging a 14-year old to take illegal dangerous pills. Isn’t that criminal?

  6. “Telling 14 year old kids to befriend random adults for favors is absolutely appalling.”
    Took the words right out of my mouth, Generibus. A kid finding some adult who’s willing and interested in hanging out with an unrelated 14-year-old? That…will not end well. Advising a kid to do that is simply evil.

    1. Yes, worst of all, it’s going to be an adult male with various mental health issues, and weird-ass sexual fetishes. I would never tell my kid to go hang out with a seemingly normal adult, and they are recommending he befriend a tranny that will give him hormones. Yuck.

      1. Yep. Any adult that would give somebody else’s kids drugs is by definition mentally (not to mention morally) deficient, and maybe worse. They’re setting this kid up for exploitation and possible murder. And then they talk all the time about the high murder rate for trans. You think? You’re encouraging children to “befriend” random strangers and you wonder why so many of you wind up murdered or suicidal?!?

  7. This is scary but utterly unsurprising. Thanks for sharing this info, I hope those teens that need it, see it.
    The massive amount of info on the web can be a curse when it comes to average people (esp women) getting factual info. Thanks to patriarchy, much of whats considered legitimate research is at best negligently biased, at worst purposely destructive. This makes it difficult to discern the correct stuff from the pseudoscience, and the appropriate from the harmful advice.
    Even for a savvy teen, it is too much to expect them to figure it all out.
    Add in people that are zealously pushing a particular philosophy/ lifestyle, with utter contempt for the opposing views, and you will have an echo chamber with little hope of self correction. The most seductive, and dangerous, are the spaces that offer up uncompromising, but deeply satisfying answers, to already confused seekers predisposed to the beliefs that they are presenting. It is a parallel world, where all the positive things they want, are on offer, with implicit instructions on how to reach this shared goal, solution.
    I have personally been involved in several identical type of echo chambers, but in other subcultures. I have seen how newbies will quickly learn to conform to the prevailing beliefs, or be ridiculed or removed, just like anyone even hinting of a different viewpoint is. Thus, they are only allowed to be exposed to the “party line”, so to speak.
    I have personally witnessed 3 different groups pushing someone to make risky choices, in tandem with the silencing of any dissenters, love bombing for those idealogically in agreement, and hate campaigns waged against those that disagree and speak out. 3 women I know lost babies because directly because of negligent advice, pushed by these cult like groups. I cannot imagine how many are harmed by these sick groups.

  8. The whole idea that we can just medicate away the uncomfortable aspects of life is specious and exploitative enough in itself, when it’s the medical establishment selling it. Both my mum and my girlfriend’s sister are right now fighting cancers that are certainly side-effects of being on HRT. I’m not for a minute playing-down the evidently-unpleasant aspects of menopause – or puberty, come to that – but there surely have to be better solutions than throwing pills at problems that are as much psycho-socio-political as medical. If these self-made, online ‘doctors’ and ‘pharmacists’ (pushers?} are exploiting confused youngsters for political purpose, then they’re surely no more guilty than so many ‘legitimate’ researchers and doctors. Disgusted, yes; surprised, not really.
    I’m reminded of an article I read awhile ago on a webzine about Breaking Bad which – to simplifys/ummarise – argued that crystal meth dealers were no worse than Ritalin-prescribing physicians. As vile, mind; but no worse. I imagine the kids that seek out hormones, or are pointed in the direction thereof by ‘helpful’ bloggers, to remedy their all-too-natural (under the circumstances) teenage angst think no more of it than I and my generation did when we sought out alcohol, pot, coke for much the same purpose. The idea that it might come to bite them in the arse 20, 30, 40 years down the line is far from their minds.
    I’ve come to believe that if the kind of critical thinking found around these parts were encouraged in schools, if the likes of Greer, Raymond, Dworkin, Mill, Wollstonecraft etc were on the curriculum; part of the fabric of popular discourse; folks would be better able to cope with stressful, ‘difficult’, transitional experiences such as ‘puberty’ and ‘menopause’. The potential for exploitation by the cynical would be fewer. For that I thank you, GM and contributors. It’s easy – and justified – to tear into shitty grown men who exploit the vulnerabilities of women and children; to criticise kids who know no better, and would do anything rather than admit as much, less so.

    1. Guls, I am so sorry to hear about your family members. Best wishes for their recovery.

  9. This is one of the things that makes me the angriest about my community. We have some of the most vulnerable and the worst predators together, and we can’t even call them out. That’d be disrespecting some fetishizing creep’s “gender identity.” Like I care if their feelings get hurt! They’re causing serious physical and psychological harm to kids!
    I mean this kid, the tumblr post, just needs to be allowed to act a tiny bit feminine. He says he’s a slightly feminine tomboy for crying out loud! And thanks to these sort of scum, he’s so far into the cult of transgender, that he’s going to end up seriously hurting himself. The longer he thinks he’s supposed to be a woman, the worse his dysphoria’s going to get. Transition is just going to feed it. The more he tries to look like a woman the more obvious it’s going to become to him that he isn’t one. Without real help he’ll either completely break and try to harm/kill himself and/or become just as delusional as the rest of the trans people on there. And no one can even warn him without being down voted away or banned.
    He needs to understand that transition is just giving into dysphoria. It’s accepting that it’s to hard/painful for you to fight it. He’s early enough into it though that he could actually fight it and overcome dysphoria without transitioning.
    I know it’s hypocritical of me to talk against transition while transitioning, but at least I know it’s just an unhealthy coping mechanism and I’ll always be male. Unless he can accept that he’s male and will always be male, transition or not, he’ll never find any sort of peace with himself.
    I actually had a private talk with this kid. I tried to tell him the truth. There’s not a single trans person that I know who would surprise me if they committed suicide. It’d make me really sad since some of them are my friends, but not surprise me. And it’s cause none of us are truly mentally healthy, myself included. I told him a lot of other stuff as well, but he refused to belief me. He’s just too caught up in teenage rebellion and the belief that he has to transition. And all the other trans people on there just keep fueling that belief.
    Seeing those new posts, I’m still sure he’s going to transition. His story of transition is always going to be one of the saddest ones I know. It’s just so needless.

    1. It’s unfortunate that this young man won’t listen to you, but I’m not surprised. The logical tack for all these people is the abolition of gender. Then people can wear whatever the hell they want. If a boy wants to go out every day in Liberace drag, God bless him. The fact that somehow trans doesn’t comprehend how their stance actually reinforces the gender roles that inform their dysphoria is just astonishing. This is something that could be addressed very readily with cognitive behavior therapy. The fact that people are lopping off healthy body parts and taking chemicals to change their bodies is just tragic. Especially when it’s done to clueless kids.

      1. The logical tack for all these people is the abolition of gender. Then people can wear whatever the hell they want.
        That would require men to change and police their own. That’s too much work for the poor dears. Even left/liberal men would rather dump dealing with the trans issue on women while tut-tutting us from afar for not being accepting enough.

      2. You’re completely right. Gender abolition is the only thing that’s really going to help trans people.
        Until that happens though, we need to be separated from the LGB community. Trans people, especially trans women, are too willing to use other peoples’ pain as a shield against criticism. We need the protection of the umbrella taken away so that doctors will be allowed to do actual research on trans people. Hopefully they could also develop alternative treatments to help.
        “The fact that somehow trans doesn’t comprehend how their stance actually reinforces the gender roles that inform their dysphoria is just astonishing.”
        We don’t get that because we’re too convinced gender’s innate to realize we’re making things worse.I remember being young like that poster. I was filled with pain and hate for my own body, and there were all these people saying it was normal. It was natural to feel the way I felt about myself. They’d say there was nothing that could have happened to cause or prevent my self hate. It was innate, but that’s ok cause you can transition. All you need to do is buy some pills and have surgery. It’s possible to buy happiness. I never thought back than that these people could be wrong and I was making things worse. It took getting away from the trans community before I could understand I’d just been making my dysphoria worse and more a part of me.
        Of course that’s only how I felt when I first started looking into transition at 13. I’m sure it’s how a lot of kids feel though. As for older adults, I have no clue how someone in their 40’s and questioning for the first time doesn’t see it.
        Oh, just so you know I don’t blame those people online for my transition. I was an adult once I actually started. I’d had lot’s of time to rethink things. I chose to ignore the things obviously wrong about what I’d been told. So it was my decision, even if I was in a lot of pain when I made it.

    2. Your honesty with both the posters here and with yourself is amazing. I think it’s great what you’re saying, and I hope you find peace with yourself.
      You mentioned that the umbrella needs to be taken away (there’s no reply button for that post) in order for science to step in, but it’s going to require science for that to happen. Right now the pseudo-science is staggering, and it’s holding up to a lot of criticism.
      Mainstream psychiatry has tried to pathologize behavior and medicate people outside of ‘the norm.’ When I was first majoring in psychology, I was appalled at the lack of hardcore science being done. The evidence for a chemical imbalance was nonexistent (we are unsure of what the normal levels of chemicals should be, or if it’s an individual thing), and the evidence produced by brain scans for abnormality was shaky at best. In fact, it’s been shown that much of the bizarre brain formations in the mentally ill are, in fact, caused by the medication rather than the alleged disorder itself. I suppose that’s what you get when you literally vote a disease into existence and then proceed to jump the gun and medicalize it.
      Those who speak out are routinely silenced, much the way that trans-critical theories are often shrugged off as transphobic rhetoric. It takes science to dispel the myths, but when pseudo-science is more profitable you can guess the rest.
      Add to that a cult-like mindset and toss an impressionable boy into the mix and you’ve got a cocktail for disaster.
      The sheer lack of knowledge about science and how their own bodies work, not just in the reproductive areas but in general, is staggering. To then think that they’re coaching this boy, who didn’t even seem dysphoric at first, on how to take hormones and evade his parents’ and go against his doctor is like a horror story.
      Thanks for trying to talk some sense into him, but teens don’t usually listen to sense. Their impulses are too great, and when you want something badly enough, you’ll be happy to ignore the red flags. Anything bad that can happen will either be down the road a ways or just won’t happen at all.
      It’s like trying to talk an alcoholic out of drinking. I warned my dad for years about his drinking and smoking, yet he always brushed me off. He had triple bypass surgery in his 30s, and he nearly died last year when cirrhosis of the liver set in. He survived, but has a ton of health problems now.
      He always thought it was a long ways away, but time catches up to a person before they know it. I wish these kids would think about that a bit before giving in to their desires.

      1. Thank you very much! I found being honest about transition really helps keep me grounded in reality. And I’m really sorry about your dad’s health. It’s always terrible to see someone you care about hurt themself like that.
        That’s soo scary to know that pseudo science like this is rampant in psychology. I was considering going back to therapy for awhile, but I don’t really want to if it’s going to be no better than going to a trans specializing therapist was :/
        you’re right about people not listening. I didn’t really think this kid would, but hopefully something sticks in the back of his mind while those trans people there keep telling him stuff. R/asktransgender is such a terrible place for finding real help. The vast majority of people there only care about someone transitioning as fast as possible. It’s all about justifying their own transition, not actually helping someone.

  10. If you look at what some people have said, they recommended against them, because they said it was unsafe, and also, I believe you forgot to put the right pronouns for her, you used he/him/his.

    1. Yes, the Op mentioned that those who warned the youth were downvoted. As for pronouns, on this blog we use pronouns to denote sex, not “sex-role”/gender. That is because this is a feminist blog. Feminists do not support sex-roles. If the blog policy on pronouns is unacceptable to you, please feel free not to read it. Also please choose a name to comment under besides “anon”. And please stop repeatedly posting the same comment. Thank you.

    2. We didn’t forget. He is a male. Males are denoted in third-person form as HE. We have not one iota of obligation to cater to the delicate fee-fee’s even of a teen-aged male much less the adult males that believe he should be led down a path of destructive self-medication.

    3. “Forgot to put the right pronouns”! “Forgot”! It’s like the way you’d chide a four-year old – “You forgot to say please!”
      Half the trans handmaidens just seem to enjoy being able to run around acting superior, not on the basis of any knowledge about or experience of the world, but because they’ve memorized a few simple Rules of Right Behavior and can tut-tut everyone who doesn’t follow them.
      Others in this thread have said trans is the new punk. If so, trans handmaiden is the new prude.

  11. This is fucking terrifying, and those sickos should be ashamed of themselves. I’m so tired of the devaluing of parents and adult responsibility. NO decent adult would advise a child to do that. It reminds me of the college boys who used to try to get me drunk; the second they tried to push another cup into my hand, all my antennae went up and I decided drinking more was out of the question. But I was older, and hopefully a little wiser. I can’t imagine how I might have reacted at fourteen if this was the advice I was given in response to a painful emotional problem I was having. Kids, if someone you don’t know is advising you to take medications like that, RUN!
    I’m a firm believer in better living through chemistry, and in drug legalization to some extent, but not to this degree. Nowhere near this degree.

  12. Not specifically related to trans issue, but related to hormones. My partner and I are astonished at how many funerals we have attended recently for smart, professional, straight, (liberal) feminist friends of ours who are dying of ovarian cancer in their 60s. ALL of them used fertility drugs in their early 40s so they could finally start having babies and “having it all.” All had wretched painful deaths that lasted over years, with all the nasty side effects of chemo thrown in. Just awful. The problem is that our male dominated culture does not allow women to get educations and have babies on our own terms and on our own time tables and with respect for our bodies, but forces us to conform to male patterns. When we do that (put off babies till you have your degrees and a successful career), you end up poisoning yourself. But this is what the patriarchy offers women. You can be a dead broke mother struggling to get an education or a decent job that pays for child care. Or you can be an accomplished educated woman with no kids (which is fine if that’s what you want). Or you can have kids in your early 40s and die an early death from cancer. Don’t even think there is any other possibility for you because men won’t allow it.

    1. And birth control pills…I believe they are exacerbating the surge in cancer. The pills raise copper levels, which is carcinogenic, suppresses the thyroid, causes psychosis, and a myriad of other problems.

    2. When you create a baby, you create a being who will suffer and die. It’s not nice to create a being who will suffer and die. How about not doing it? There are options for you if you want to be a parent in the societies we live in: ADOPT A CHILD WHO IS ALREADY HERE. There are SEVEN BILLION people and GROWING and we are RUNNING OUT OF RESOURCES. Enough is enough. It is sad that your friends had to die horribly because they felt that they had to have a biological child at all costs. No one does. The issue with our male-dominated culture is that it thinks women’s bodies are under its control. (Not the world you want to bring kids, especially girls, into in the first place) The issue is not that you “have to choose” between money and children. That “issue” is the least of your problems in this insane world.

      1. I’d also like to add: Everybody, for whatever, reason is not going to be able to be a parent (to a biological child or non-biological child). That’s life, which is unfair. (And why people would want to bring the child they supposedly love to an unfair world is beyond me, but that’s neither here nor there) But what we CAN do is not let our biological instincts control us. Unlike every other animal, that is something humans can do. Let’s not put our unique gifts to waste.

  13. The last post is all purged now, all the comments are deleted. I did manage to take this screenshot though, of a couple of comments that were posted after I took the reddit snapshots I linked earlier:

    View post on

    Notice two things:
    One: the comment saying that ordering meds online is a bad idea has -4 points, meaning it was downvoted by at least 4 people.
    Two: the comment saying that not taking hormones is more dangerous than not taking them, because “testosterone destroys your body each passing day”. I will let those words speak for themselves.

    1. That bit about “watching in helplessness as testosterone destroys your body each passing day” is really a doozy.
      Going through a normal puberty and developing the secondary sexual characteristics that go with your reproductive system =/= physical destruction. It’s the opposite of that, it means you’ve made it to physical adulthood, which in biological terms is something of an accomplishment. There is no hypothetical opposite-sex body to be destroyed, there’s only the one you have.
      Unfortunately, puberty usually does mean having a particular sex role imposed on you even more aggressively than it was when you were a child — and if you’re a girl, that means a subordinate role.
      How many GIRLS have had to watch in helplessness as the normal results of increased estrogen and progesterone production in their bodies destroyed their ability to go out in public without being sexually harassed? Then there’s all the bizarre shaming about menstruation. If none of this existed, I am fairly certain most girls would react to puberty with “Cool, I’m not a little kid anymore; okay, time to get back to that math homework/go to my after school job/go to soccer practice.” Not with “Where can I get a binder and some T? I don’t the way the other girls keep saying I’m a slut because of my bra size, or the way the boys call me a dyke because I punched the one who groped me in algebra, or way Mr. Jones leers at me in homeroom, so I must be a dude.”

    2. Well, that’s just what this person needs – people saying that testosterone destroys the body, instead of noting that its effects are perfectly natural and normal.
      And gee, telling a 14-year old who hasn’t even gone through basic high school biology to take synthetic hormones that could lead to heart problems, blood clots, diabetes, and infertility? With NO medical supervision? What could possibly go wrong?

    3. “…I’m not going to try to act like some adult who thinks that they know better…”
      “I’m technically an adult, but am very proud of the fact that I’ve managed to learn nothing from my life, have gained no experience or wisdom, and have absolutely nothing to pass on to those younger than myself. Herp de durp, I love being a complete waste of space! Gather ’round, kiddies, and I’ll share the enormous empty vacuum where my mind and soul should be with you! P.S. Please like me, just please please like me, because my total lack of moral or ethical center means I am desperate for your validation and indeed will say or do anything to get it.”

      1. Dorothy, this is a quote from the actress Frances McDormand that appeared in a recent interview: “We are on red alert when it comes to how we are perceiving ourselves as a species. There’s no desire to be an adult. Adulthood is not a goal. It’s not seen as a gift. Something happened culturally: No one is supposed to age past 45 — sartorially, cosmetically, attitudinally.” Yeah, she nailed it.

      2. @Ashland Avenue – one of the outlooks on life I’m most grateful to my parents for is an acceptance of aging.
        They actually expressed a certain happiness to looking older, to getting the grey hair and some wrinkles. As they put it, “finally we look like we deserve some respect.” For us, older people deserved respect because they have seen a lot and have wisdom from that.
        I too am enjoying my grey hair. I like that my hands look like they’ve seen work, y’know?

    4. There’s another comment referring to testosterone that I found interesting similarly:
      “Not transitioning is not a medically neutral decision. It has risks just as deadly as DIY, and those need to be taken into account.”
      In other words, the normal male puberty happening is a “risk.” Because yep, the usual mantra, if we have the puberty we’re born to we will KILL OURSELVES!!

  14. Heh, they have apparently seen this, because there is a new mod announcement over there stating that discussions about self-medicating with hormones is now forbidden. Good.

      1. I don’t believe that’s a kid posting. But if it is by some outside chance, he has already learned the patter. He’s not trying to be a woman, he IS a woman. Bloody pedos proselytizing and marketing their rapey shit.

      2. You are privileged. Your reply is privileged, and you’re opinion literally has killed people before when keeping us gatekept in the past.
        I hate you and your privileged ass face!

      1. Don’t thank me. Thank all the women whose voices made this site. It makes me sick that the these genderists ignore all common sense, and even the warnings of people in their own community, and only take heed when the “evil dastardly radfems” expose this shit. It is shameful.

  15. Hello GallusMag:I identify as a nobody-special, but I greatly enjoy your website. You have made me think about a number of aspects of gender that I had never considered.
    There is an issue that I have not seen addressed here, and I would like to hear your thoughts if you have the time. I was reminded of this yesterday when actress Renee Zellweger’s apparent facial surgeries were being cruelly dissected by just about everyone. It’s popular to deride born-women for having “work done.” Speculation is an open, cooperative sport: “Yes, I think she’s had a neck lift, and I’m seeing some nose work too!” A born-woman who has work done is often regarded as superficial and self-loathing.
    So, my question is, why do the same people who deride cosmetic surgery for women stay silent on the facial, neck, breast, hair and hand procedures that male-to-female transgenders tend to have? The “passing” ones may have a dozen or so cosmetic procedures completely unrelated to the genitalia. Why is this not seen as self-loathing and superficial?

    1. I posted on “cosmetic procedures” and got slammed b/c the *T says they are not cosmetic, but “medically necessary gender confirmation” surgeries. Bah.
      W/O Gallus, I would have retained my pit-of-stomach revolt at this *T dissembling, but with GM and others I’ve solidified my gut sense of how wrong it is into a logical and science based position.
      As a survivor of ACE’s, I am adamant that adults should NOT mess with children’s gonads. Not for any reason, not ever, not due to delusion/dysphories and at the behest of a rich group of white males that want to play in public with their sexual fetishes.
      Your comment here about Zellweger, a favorite actress of mine even with plastic remodeling, is Spot On. I’m surprised that there is not MANDATORY cosmetic surgery for older (wise, resistant, experienced and w/fully evolved voices hopefully) women b/c males hate and fear them so much.

      1. Oh yeah, that’s the standard line. “It’s not cosmetic surgeries (which would be voluntary by most people’s judgement), no, it’s life saving surgery because without it we’ll KILL OURSELVES!!!!11!!”
        A few years ago on Tumblr there was a little shitstorm when a poster with a donate button (like some huge percentage of the “social justice” crowd over there) was trying to crowdfund some “life saving surgeries” “surgeries I need or I will die” etc etc.
        Some people smelled a rat and went digging, and sure enough, turned out that the surgery in question was SRS. A bunch of people were furious to find that out, and when they complained of being tricked, the response was basically that “how dare you imply that SRS is not a life-saving surgery??”
        Separately from that, you can find hordes of people who are asking for donations to fund their rent and things like that. You go looking (by which I just mean reading back a while on the blog!) and you find that yeah, they need rent because they’ve spent their income already on “necessary things” like “girl clothes and panties” or possibly smaller surgeries and electrolysis. Because you can’t be a girl without femmy clothes and panties.
        I wonder how many of these “just give the kid hormones on the down low!! Or he’ll KILL himself!!” people would be okay with kids going to sketchy tattoo shops that are willing to tattoo 14 year olds?

      2. I saw one of those crowdfunding posts on tumblr just the other day. Dude claimed to be homeless, basically couch surfing from house to house, but he was asking for money for HRT and electrolysis. And people were giving it to him! It blew my freaking mind.

    2. I’ve not seen the negative comments regarding Rene Zellweger, but I have seen the photos you’re talking about, and she does look like a different person. I couldn’t be sure and am still not sure that is actually her though, the photo that purports to be her looks like it could be another famous actress that might have had some work done, I just can’t believe that if it is her, that she looks so dramatically different. I hope that something hasn’t gone wrong for her though, as there was no way she needed to have anything done for cosmetic reasons, but I’m not her, and at the end of the day it’s what makes her happy that’s most important.

    3. @rosyln
      That thing really pisses me off. There are plenty of people who are actually homeless who need the money or who do need actual life-saving surgery, and yet somehow the people who get all of the donations are these bastards.
      I would have to check, but I am pretty sure my insurance company won’t pay for cosmetic surgery. One of my friends wants to get breast reduction because it’s medically necessary (she wears a F or G cup) but she would have to prove that it’s medically necessary first before they cover it. But if a dude wants implants, then gosh it’s medically necessary because he might suicide!
      I didn’t know that about PCOS. I have that but my doctor figured it out before I started getting hairy.

  16. Hello Survivorthriver: Thank you for your reply. The thing about “medically necessary” cosmetic surgeries in the case of transgenders is that they aren’t medically necessary, yet the transgenders often get health insurance coverage for them. I worked for a major employer whose insurance covered full gender transition, including any cosmetic procedures the patient wanted. Meanwhile, birth-women who have noses, jaws and hands that are deemed “masculine” by societal standards either live with those aesthetics, or have to pay for the surgeries themselves. I knew a born-woman with polycystic ovarian syndrome which had caused her to have a receding hairline, facial hair and other aesthetic challenges. No coverage for that.
    To take this analogy further, many middle-age people do not “feel” their age. Is this “age dysphoria”? A 45-year-old, for example, may “feel” 30. Where’s the insurance coverage for the face lift?

      1. Hello Roslynholcomb: you’re right, women with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) cannot expect health insurance coverage for hair removal. It goes beyond the hirsuteness–there can be issues with aesthetically “masculine” body traits, e.g. excess weight gathers on the midsection rather than on the hips and thighs. No coverage for correcting that, either. Meanwhile, many employers with gender transition coverage will include those procedures for male-to-female transgenders.

      2. Do you know if Aetna covers this? The hospital where my husband works is paying $13,000+ for our health insurance, then we pay close to another $6,000 (I’m dropping my coverage which will greatly reduce our contribution as I qualify for Medicare). We don’t even hit our $300 deductible and of course the insurance doesn’t cover vision care, my thyroid meds, therapy for my damaged body, etc. I can somehow easily picture the hospital and us paying for cosmetic surgeries for MEN as these procedures are so absolutely necessary! Let us never forget that EVERYTHING in this country is a goddamn racket (Joe Bageant).

  17. Gotta love how they insist that having a post on this topic linking to their thread is somehow creepy or stalkerish.
    I’m not gonna go post on their thread, but if anyone from there is reading this – get a clue, and welcome to the Internet.
    If you have a public page out there on the world wide Internet, open for anyone to read, people are going to comment on it. Talking with other random readers about what I thought reading your thread is no more creepy or stalkerish than commenting about a show I saw on TV last night or some interesting advertisements in the subway.
    If you don’t want random public commentary, then don’t post on a public website. It doesn’t get any more basic than that.

  18. The posts gied me the boak, especially the particularly creepy “if you ever want to take some photos….” Hmm yeah, because asking for photos of a 14 year old boy dressed up as a girl isn’t a problem in any way….
    I also find this “He will kill himself unless he can look feminine” idea really weird. If you actually are a woman, you might not look feminine. I don’t, I have a baldy heid (and have been addressed as “sir” more than once in my life). The shop assistant where I go to buy groceries has a beard (I’m guessing PCOS) but is female. I don’t understand why if you actually do believe you’re female (while being genetically male) you need to be ultra femme or you’ll kill yourself, when born women present in a number of ways.
    The (very lovely and friendly) shop assistant doesn’t feel the need to shave herself. I bite my nails, so painting them would be a waste of effort, and while I shave my head my hair’s been going grey since I was 20. Women just are women. I bet anything this is our evil cis privilege or something, but I don’t understand why if you think you are female despite genetics that translates into “must look like barbie doll”.

  19. They keep doing this shit.
    A sixteen year old comes into r/asktransgender saying he’s “confused and possibly MtF”. At the end of the post, he “thinks [he’s] sure” that he is. And the posters keep bringing up how going on hormones is so great and how the process is so time-sensitive. Some quotes:
    >You’re only 16, at your age it would probably only take a few months of hormones fro you to pass.
    >The later you start the more expensive transition gets, because you end up with more to fix.
    >Anyway, first you’re gonna need the HRT. If you’re sure, the sooner the better.
    At least no one is telling this kid to get hormones online.
    Bonus creepy comment:
    >damnit Cis highschool girls, why can’t I have your bodies!
    And this is the OPs final comment:
    >i think im sure that im a mtf. I read alot of articles, live chatted with a therapist that said i should find a full time therapist but most likely am mtf. i have accepted the fact that i want a vagina, i want boobs, i want a big butt, wide hips, long hair. all that. I want to be female. I am female

    1. “And the posters keep bringing up how going on hormones is so great”
      Because that stuff makes you euphoric for a while. Holy shit it’s like listening to drug addicts.
      “i have accepted the fact that i want a vagina”
      I’m sure I DOESN’t know how a vagina works. Well since he is male – he will never experience it anyway. I wonder what happens when the euphoria after the surgery disappears and reality takes it’s place.

  20. Well this is disturbing. I hate all these irresponsible adults so much for dragging a kid into their fuckery. The truth is, no medication is without risks and the reason why you take it is because there is more benefit than risk. This boy has absolutely nothing wrong with him other than being unfortunate enough to fall victim to one of these cults thanks in part to his gender-role enforcing parents, but it is not his fault. And for fuck’s sake, how is it that people now think that if you have long hair and like nail polish, you must be a girl? It’s the same gender bullshit as usual, except now if you don’t conform, it must mean you’re the opposite sex. It just baffles me that people can’t realize that a boy can like nail polish and it just means he’s a boy who likes nail polish, not a someone with a “girl-soul” trapped in the wrong body.
    And hey. when I was a kid, I used to have long hair and paint my nails on a regular basis. But now I have short hair and almost never wear nail polish. I guess that means I’m a dude now.
    I must say, I don’t plan on having children but if I decide to adopt I might have to become a Luddite. It’s normal for teens to want to rebel but now it’s worse because we’ve got all these online echo chambers full of toxic adults who are encouraging teenagers to fuck up their lives by taking dangerous puberty blockers. Wearing bad makeup and listing to awful music is one thing but this is different.
    And yes, I agree with all the comments about this being a trend. Young people especially teenagers like to be different and special. That’s why I went through a goth phase in high school, because it was special and different from all of the other cliques (expect not really). Trans is the new trend, just like how almost everyone was bisexual when I was in high school.
    Also, I am seriously creeped out by people telling this kid to go hang out with their friend in the area to get hormones. Sounds like a prostitution thing. Same goes for asking for pictures.

  21. Commenting on the end of this post to just point out another similar thread, this time with a THIRTEEN year old kid, also on the same “asktransgender” subreddit.
    Post is here:
    Gist is, kid “realizes” he’s trans on January 7th, roughly one month ago. He posts:
    “I was reading about transgenderism on my laptop, in my normal depressive state. However, a major bout of even worse depression came over me, which I basically disregarded at the time. Later that night, however, I connected my experiences to those on the subreddits and connecting communities. I realized how much happier I would be living as female, but also realized that I couldn’t do anything about my condition.”
    “I realize that I’m 13, and it’s only been a few weeks, but I’m sure about this decision. I want to transition, and my time window is fleeting. I’m lost, what do I do?”
    As is usual for that subreddit, plenty of posters pile on, tell him he’s definitely trans, and that he needs to get on hormones ASAP lest the testosterone wreck his body.
    Some choice examples:
    “TRUST ME. Don’t believe the old ones who say “You can wait, blahblahblah” . NO. Press the issue & start estrogen asap. Trust me, you’ll save yourself so much heart ache. I started at 16 & I still go through shit because I hate the damage Testosterone did to me.”
    “And I wish people would stop telling young teens that it’s perfectly fine to transition at an older age just because they themselves did so and still ended up fine.
    Just because you were fine with doing nothing and waiting until your 20s before you finally decided to do something about your gender dysphoria, doesn’t mean that everyone else is perfectly okay with sitting around and watching their bodies get ruined.

    But that’s not all. We have some comments that seem really close to the idea of pushing self-harm. They suggest that the kid write this sort of letter to his parents, demanding the hormones:
    “I have to transition, and you can’t change that, but you can change the quality of my life. With every passing day, the testosterone does exponentially more damage, much of which is irreversible or will require surgery… time is the thing I do not have. I’m sorry, but you aren’t going to have a son. I will transition, because I can’t change who I am, and not transitioning will more or less kill me. You have two choices, help me, your kid, or impede my necessary medical treatment. If you help me, you can have a happy and pretty normal daughter, who you’ll talk with. If you don’t help me like you need to as the parents who made me, I’ll wind up bitter, miserable or dead.
    Remember, this kid, who is in a bout of depression (as he admits in his own original post) has “realized he’s trans” only ONE MONTH AGO. And he’s 13.
    Kid writes:
    “I remember just a few years ago I was looking forward to “growing up”, as it might have changed the state of my life at the time. Now, it’s basically the opposite of that realization.”

  22. Reblogged this on feudaltimesblog and commented:
    In a few years trans grooming will be discussed in the same way sexual grooming is today. Posts like this are important to raise consciousness. Fear of appearing transphobic is leaving the field open to another form of child abuse.

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