“Some differences between earlier male vs later female genital experiences, arousals and orgasms”
“The results of SRS are made immediately obvious to the postop woman by one important effect: She now has to “sit down to pee”. Peeing isn’t as easy as before, and every time you pee you are reminded that you are now a girl, reminded in the same way that all the other girls are.
On the other hand, there is a really great advantage to having female genitals that soon becomes obvious too: Your sexual arousals are no longer “visible to others”. Just as for any other woman, the postop woman does not have to constantly suppress her arousals like men do. She can let herself get aroused any time she wants to, and can stay aroused for long periods of time without others “seeing anything”, just as many other women do (this is another reason so many women smile a lot!).
It’s great to be able to engage in fantasies and visualizations and get aroused at any time you want to. This freedom can help a woman create and firmly establish a healthy libido. She can hook-up her brain with her genitals without much “censorship” going on. Even though her libido is not as heavily stimulated by the large doses of testosterone that men have [*], neither does she have to tame and control her libido like men do theirs. Therefore, on balance, a woman can generally feel “sexy” much more of the time than a man can.
Lynn speculates that a lot of men have problems with getting erections simply because they have to constantly avoid having erections. In other words, they get much more practice in avoiding erections than they do in getting them! Women do not need to “censor” their arousals in that way. If they have no religious or other types of hang-ups about sex and lovemaking, they can easily practice and enjoy getting aroused as much as they like, and can develop very healthy libidos as a result. This advantage can help the postop woman get into her sexuality fairly quickly and help her learn a lot in just the first year or two postop.
Once she begins experiencing arousals and engaging in sexual activities, one major thing becomes immediately obvious. Orgasm feels really different as a woman. It may not be quite as easy to achieve and may take longer to achieve, but it can be a much more powerful sensation than any she ever experienced before as a boy.
Following SRS, the perfunctory feeling of male ejaculation during orgasm is gone forever. Instead, you can build up your sexual arousal to a much higher level without ejaculation bringing things to a halt. It may take more time to reach it, but you can now experience a more powerful orgasm – with the old male ejaculation feeling now replaced by an intense neural discharge and spasm throughout the entire genital area during orgasm. It feels kind of like you are being gently stimulated with electricity inside and throughout your entire genital region. The experience can vary a lot from orgasm to orgasm in the way in which the “neural halo and spasmodic colors” of the orgasm develop, spread, and feel. It seems almost as if most men so easily and quickly reach ejaculation that they never manage to get “high enough” sexually to trigger this more powerful form of orgasm.
In addition, there are real differences in “body feelings” during lovemaking between the male and female experience (although many of these feelings will be “female” in form for preop TS women too). Most males are usually stimulated visually by their partner’s body-appearance. Once aroused, they usually feel a growing “tightness inside” and a desire to “grab and hold and thrust and penetrate”. This desire comes on suddenly, and quickly becomes quite overpowering, with most of the sexual sensations coming only from within the penis itself. However, when the release of orgasm occurs, it is usually much more perfunctory than for a woman, being accompanied by a few spurts of semen and a few grunts and that’s it. The ejaculation is then followed by quite a sudden letdown and loss of any interest in sexual activity.
The sexual experience for the postop woman is much more “internal” within and throughout her whole body than for a male. The arousal may start in her genitals, but then can spread all through her lower body, especially inside the muscles, and her skin all over her body becomes more sensitized to caressing and touching. Instead of sexual arousal being just in the genitals as in a male, the estrogen seems to also enable a powerful “heat” to fill the woman’s whole body once she is aroused – and especially once she is being penetrated. Having this heat come over her in the absence of a partner, and without any satisfaction, can make her feel like “climbing the walls” or “thrashing around in her bed”.
Since her whole body becomes much more sensitive to touch as she get fully aroused, she is not stimulated so much by her partner’s appearance as by the way he (or she) touches her and manipulates her body and the way his (or her) voice sounds. She doesn’t feel the hard focused drive to quickly achieve orgasm as do males, but instead feels a desire to let go and thrash around and be “handled” and gradually heighten her erotic feelings. It isn’t what she is seeing that counts as much as what she is feeling and hearing and how her body is being manipulated by her partner, as she yields to the wonders of sexual heat and lovemaking. And usually she’ll like to take some time to do this and enjoy this, instead of just “rushing for ejaculation” like most guys do.
Finally, she will get up on a “plateau” and realize that an orgasm is going to come. This is a truly wonderful feeling. At some point, the orgasm starts and spreads throughout her genital area, with the genital nerves becoming tremendously sensitized as it spreads. The sensation of the orgasm will vary a lot from orgasm to orgasm (more variably than in the male). Sometimes it will be weak, but sometimes it can be amazingly intense, and the feeling varies a lot in form and “color” from orgasm to orgasm.
Just like natal women, trans women often experience a strong urge to “vocalize” just before and during orgasm – moaning, squealing, screaming and making other loud noises while they come. The sound and internal body sensation of these vocalizations can greatly heighten the intensity of the orgasmic experience for many women. Postop women shouldn’t be afraid to let out loud moans or screams when they come. It is perfectly natural, and can help transform ordinary orgasms into ecstatic ones. In contrast, very few men vocalize when they ejaculate, other than making a few grunts. Perhaps the difference is hormonal, with testosterone blocking these emotional vocalizations, just as it blocks emotions such as “crying” in males.
After climax the trans woman feels a sudden relaxing and calming effect that is somewhat similar to what it is like for boys. But unlike when she was a boy, she may often feel aroused and sexy again rather soon after having sex, often getting firm internal erections again soon after her orgasms. Even though it may be difficult for her to achieve orgasm again until some time has passed (a few hours to a day or so), she may feel a desire for sex again right away anyways. These re-arousals are a really wonderful feeling, and can enable sweet sessions of touching and snuggling with a loving partner after intercourse.”
Excerpted from Lynn Conway’s “Vaginoplasty: Male to Female Sex Reassignment Surgery”
[*Conway adds, “After surgery, some women find that their adrenal glands (the other source of testosterone) do not produce enough to provide adequate libido or orgasm. You may require a small amount of supplemental testosterone to regain functioning.”]
The author, in addition to his extensive work penning lurid transvestic body-sculpting fan fiction and referring to himself in the third person as demonstrated above, spearheaded the public censorship campaign against Autogynephilia researchers Blanchard, Bailey, and Lawrence.