If the nipple falls off “just throw it in the garbage”: When FTM Top Surgery Goes Wrong

when top surgery goes wrong
From an online fundraiser here: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/damien-leggett-surgery-fund–2

“On Oct 31st, 2013 Damien Leggett 34, was given a bilateral mastectomy performed at Pan Am Clinic in Winnipeg.  The drains were removed Nov 4th.  Damien should have been on the road to recovery within two weeks but within a week of the surgery it was very clear something was not right.

On Nov 10 he was admitted to St Boniface Hospital but transferred to Health Sciences Centre where he had an ultrasound and fluid was drained. This happened several times.

Damien’s condition deteriorated at home to the point that I called an ambulance as he had a high fever. His teeth were chattering and he was barely lucid. Early in the morn of Nov 17th he was admitted to HSC after the paramedics took a temp at his home of 39.5. He was very ill.

Damien was admitted with a postsurgical infection.  By this time one of Damien’s nipples was necrotic and black but we were told it was “fine”.

Nearly five week after surgery Dec 4 at 12:30 in the afternoon Damien went to HSC emergency with his nipple hanging off pouring fluid, with redness, painful swelling, and abscesses.  He was generally unwell and profoundly depressed.

After almost eight hours Damien asked a surgical resident what to do about the fact that the nipple his surgeon said was “fine” two weeks before was literally hanging off. The resident said not to worry – that people walk around with necrotic toes all the time. Damien said he was traumatized by the idea of his nipple falling off in his hand and the resident said that if it happened, he could just “throw it in the garbage.”

Damien was hospitalized in December with another surgical infection and spent another six days in hospital. Prior to Christmas, his surgeon came to see him for a couple of minutes at which point he cut off Damien’s nipple with a pair of scissors.

He was back in hospital again with abscesses and a fever on Christmas Day and stayed in until New Year’s Eve.  It was not until February that he was able to return to school.

Damien has been given no choice but to have this devastating and terrible surgery corrected by a surgeon in Toronto.  This surgery will correct as best it can the physical destruction.  Despite this work, Damien will have no feeling in his upper chest area as a result of the total and irreversible damage from what should have been a relatively easy procedure.

Health care options for transgendered people are severely limited. Manitoba Health do not currently cover transgendered surgery out of province. In order to fix the terrible damage, Damien is expected to return the surgeon who performed the initial surgery.  Once you view the video you will see how that is impossible to even comprehend.

We have no choice but to reach out to friends to help us fund the surgical procedure and the expenses that we will incur as he recovers in Toronto.  If there are any funds not needed we will apply them towards a therapist as he has not been able to afford trans-friendly therapy and is sitting on multiple waiting lists, despite being diagnosed as suffering post-traumatic stress as a result of this painful and terrible ordeal.

Due to the shocking nature of the surgical results we were reluctant to upload post-op photos online but we felt it was important for you to see. It is the professional assessment of several surgeons that the results are catastrophic.  We are blessed to have the council and services of Dr. Marc DuPere, one of the most preeminent and respected surgeons for transgendered patients, who is hopeful and optimistic that he can undo the worst of the damage and restore Damien’s chest to as normal an appearance as possible.  The cost of the surgery is $11,271.75.

We are grateful that you have taken the time to read Damien’s story and look at photographs that are uncomfortable to see.  The pain that he has endured at the hands of a health care system ignorant and in some cases outright hostile to transgendered people has been eye opening and heart breaking for me, as his partner.”

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72 thoughts on “If the nipple falls off “just throw it in the garbage”: When FTM Top Surgery Goes Wrong

  1. This surgery is anything but “…a relatively easy procedure.” This was major surgery that involved the removal of healthy breast tissue, skin, and the cutting off and repositioning of nipples. Perhaps the adverse conditions that may result from the surgery either wasn’t fully conveyed or the patient didn’t pay much attention to what could go wrong.
    I feel sorry that this person felt compelled to have healthy breasts operated on in order to appear “masculine” something this person will never be in this life.

    1. @WildWomyn: Your comment is absolutely vile and is an act of violence against trans people. Stop equating someone’s existence to their genitalia. WildWomyn indeed… :/ I can’t wait until radfems get their heads on straight or at least shut up and leave everyone alone.

      1. Thank you SassyGrass, it is nice knowing there are people out there fighting against the trolls/misinformed. Such hateful comments can be harmful. (btw in terms of surgeries, FtM top surgery is simple, especially since it is performed on HEALTHY people). That comment is also offensive to women (or other gender people) that chose to get breast reduction to help back problems. Just because it is not a physical pain that is being eased, does not mean that it is not there.
        I am also sorry to hear that happened to Damien. I wonder where the surgery took place and if this was in the USA? I would definitely report that bedside manner…that is NOT appropriate.

    1. “She said, ‘My brain isn’t doing it for me. I just don’t see a man. I just see a woman.'”
      We have to see her as a ‘him’ because feelings. Our own realities do not matter. What?
      I identify as a doctor and you all better address me as Dr. Tate.
      I may have had no medical training whatsoever and do not currently hold a PhD but objective realities be damned, I have a Doctor Brain!

      1. “We have to see her as a ‘him’ because feelings. Our own realities do not matter. What?”
        No shit, Dr. Tate. (respectfully… joke…smile…) this Emotional Correctness shit has gone too far.
        She has an entire family of hostages that she and her girlfriend are brainwashing into calling her “Dad,” a captive audience to applaud her bravery and swoon at every new hair that pops out of her neck. So bizarre to watch women abuse kids like this while hiding behind a psych diagnosis. Child protective services cannot be called in because, you know, feelings. Yup, nobody’s reality matters but hers. I hope the kids are able to come to terms with it eventually. Looks like emotional terrorism to me. Guess if my mom was that nutz, I’d fall right the fuck in line and call her “Dad” if she wanted me to also. “Sure, Dad, whatever you say. Can I get you some ice for your nipples?” “Prepare your testosterone syringe?” Comforting reality for a kid to grow up in.
        Worst part is I actually feel sorry for her. Yup, I said it. I feel sorry for an abusive mother because… why…? Because all these folks are NUTZ ON A STICK, and my heart can’t help but go out to the whole disgusting Trainwreck mess. I hate that I feel this way. Wish I could just not care. But I do. Health Care is ultimately responsible for this. It’s medical fraud. Crazy folk should not have the option to shore-up their crazy notions with crazy surgery. She does totally suck as a mom though; let’s just keep that straight. That video is a creepy fundraising masterpiece…

      2. Yes, and because the professor saw her as a woman, and not a man, “Leggett said he felt annihilated by the conversation and the professor’s refusal to change” (from the CBC article).
        “Annihilated.” This means to be destroyed, to no longer exist. Trans people, I’ve noticed, talk a lot about their non/existence. Apparently, another’s perceptions about their sex, if it doesn’t reflect back exactly their own perceptions, can render them disappeared, gone. How awful. What a tenuous existence, indeed, that relies so completely on other people validating their own gender fantasies or deeply mistaken beliefs. If we don’t do it, they may die–literally or psychologically. That’s a heavy responsibility! For people close to the trans person, and also for strangers who naturally go by their perceptions.
        Damn, the butchery done to her healthy body makes me sick, and I hate that she has to now live with this unnecessary mutilation. But, while reading that CBC article (which is entirely sympathetic to her plight) it becomes obvious that something important is being left out. She got kicked out of the Social Work program– I’m sure of it–for her own impossible behaviour. There’s other disordered stuff going on inside her, I suspect, and it comes from the very same place her trans-ness came from. It’s a where-there’s-smoke-there’s-fire kind of thing. Trans people probably wear down other people, even the most sympathetic, to the point where potentially getting slapped with a human rights investigation is seen as worthwhile risk.

      3. @morag99 – I’ve noticed that too. Every other sentence of some of the more “popular” pomo-academic jargon-engorged M2T posts will be histrionics about “dehumanization” and “violence.” You look into it, and it’s all about someone refusing to use the desired pronoun or someone just straight up saying they don’t believe in the “born in the wrong body” ideology.
        Call me ignorant, but in my English, “violence” (never mind “extreme violence”) is not about words. “Dehumanization” is about not considering someone a human being at all and then doing violence to them.
        No one is saying any of these people aren’t human. People are just referring to their biological sex, something that is as real and immutable as their race. Plenty of the people who get jumped on for this supposed “violence” are happy to talk to them, get the door for them, wait on them at the drugstore, all the rest, but slip a pronoun or otherwise just make it clear that they know it’s a male there before them, dress or not. A male HUMAN. So enough with the histrionics already. Saying “I can’t imagine what might make you want to transition like that, I think you have psychological issues, but hey, do what you want I guess and I agree that you shouldn’t be beaten up for it” is not “dehumanization.”
        Hilarious part is these are the same people who laugh at feminists in the US for bringing up various inequalities, because surely they know that there’s no more sexism (just like there’s no more racism!) in the US anymore, I mean, “it’s not some third world country LOL haha white feminists.” And yet when someone calls them “he” at the grocery store, oh my, if someone mentions “born a boy” all of a sudden that is extreme violence, dehumanization, oh, stop the presses this is serious business!

      4. TTL and Morag99 I think you’ve nailed it. I feel sorry for her, yes, but sorrier for her kids. Take a look at that little face: [link removed sorry-GM]
        Dana’s been into the “care” system for some time, in one way or another. Leave it to the left to empower her into destruction.
        Regarding the corrective surgery of the botched surgery: she has options where she is, fully covered, but probably has to go on another waiting list behind all those transphobic post chemo and double mastectomy cancer reconstructions which are in a triage line-up, but she has been convinced by someone ? she can get better care with a surgeon who has jumped the universal, public pay system. Of course, surgeons who do that are entirely motivated by providing better care.

    1. I would love to see how many of them are trans. Because being trans and not supported causes so much self harming! Wait, so what are the other reasons that fucked up teenagers harm themselves? You mean there are other reasons than the horror of being misgendered ? Move along here, nothing to see folks… remember, you can save a teenager’s life by using their preferred pronouns and supporting their desires for hormones and mastectomies! Or maybe not but whatever!

      1. gb and DD,
        What all these cutting teens seem to have in common are common teen-age problems (who-am-I? issues, perhaps confusion about sexual orientation, external and internal homophobia, emotional-regulation problems, trouble coping with stress, peer-groups pressures, conflict with parents and teachers, etc.) which have crossed the line into a more extreme emotional dysfunction leading to self-harm. Helped along, apparently, by validation and a sense of belonging from a cutting sub-culture.
        Some of the kids who are cutting probably do identify as trans, with the trans compulsion being but ONE manifestation of an inability to cope with teen-age problems. Again, helped along, in no small measure, by adult trans-activism.
        And, yet, the trans teens get support for their pathological compulsions. That is, their very symptoms are THE prescribed “treatment.”

  2. I don’t ordinarily care to think of myself as stupid, but trying to read thru the obfuscating language of that fundraising page kinda fried my brain. ‘Transgendered’ doesn’t even appear until the 10th paragraph: one might be forgiven for thinking this was a guy recovering from one of those rare, non-gynocological cases of breast cancer – ‘Damien’ looks pretty much like a regular guy in the YT photo-montage – if I hadn’t read this on GT the thought that ‘he’ was a FtT wouldn’t have occurred.
    Not that that diminishes my sympathy, mind – medical science has a lot to answer for when it comes to botched surgery and nosocomial infections. I don’t recall mum getting much joy from her hospital either, after they did a shitty job ‘reconstructing’ her breast post-cancer (though of course I’m pleased she’s still alive and kicking): a Kickstarter-style appeal wouldn’t be necessary here in the UK – at least for now, whilst the NHS is still hanging in there much to Tory chagrin – but the negative publicity re crappy procedures and practitioners might, over time bring positive change to bear. More female surgeons, especially in gynaecology would surely impact, too: can’t imagine – though perhaps I’m being naïve – a woman adopting such a contemptuous attitude to a procedure that’s not merely botched – on its own terms – but so ideologically misguided… The preponderance of men working in ob-gyn and cosmetic surgery is strongly indicative – ‘the word made flesh’, one might say,of what is meant by ‘man playing God’.

    1. I disagree. Female MDs are not into rocking the boat, fully understanding how the profession they have been grudgingly allowed into works.

      1. I don’t doubt you’re right. It might be the strongest evidence of how solid male-dominance is, that women can buy-in if they give up enough; but we can never be on a level with women. How much of that is natural, how much poisoned upbringing I don’t know.

    2. Guls, I’ve had to deal with a few surgeons in my journey so far, and yeah, the men have an arrogance that…well, it’s just stupefying. Male plastic surgeons are in a class by themselves. The first surgeon I had was female, and she was great – she even made fun of the reputation that surgeons in general have. She was very down to earth, and feminist. But then she moved out of state, and I followed a recommendation to a male surgeon, even though I usually use female doctors. It was mainly a matter of convenience; he practiced out of the hospital where I was receiving cancer treatment. (I was also reeling from a cancer diagnosis, and terrified, and everything was moving very, very quickly…because it had to.) It was downhill from there.

    3. One reason his body proportions looked even is because he has a large stomach (I live with him)

  3. I’ve had a double mastectomy with reconstruction due to breast cancer, and I can tell you right now that they removed her drains way too early. Surgery on October 31st and the drains out on November 4th? I had four drains in for three weeks after my surgery, and that’s not unusual. It often takes that long – or longer – for the excess fluid to subside.
    I’ve also had post-surgical infections which required hospitalizations, and I’ve had to undergo extra surgeries to “fix” what was done incorrectly. Unfortunately, that’s also not unusual for women having undergone mastectomy and/or reconstruction.
    To paint this as some sort of issue that only affects trans people, as that Indiegogo page does, is offensive beyond measure.

    1. Sorry to hear that Ashland.
      I hope you’re feeling better.
      I absolutely detest trans who frame mastectomies as their issue.
      Trans OPTED to have their breasts removed. Women (and men) with breast cancer have to deal with the fact they had fucking cancer on top of losing the choice to keep their breasts. They also have routine checkups for years to make sure the cancer hasn’t returned.
      What a walk in the park compared to the poor trans who have to deal with mean doctors!
      It’s like when MtT claim they are just like women who have had a hysterectomy. After watching my mother nearly fall apart after hers I fucking hate that assertion with a passion.
      MtT didn’t get cancer and didn’t lose endocrine support. My mother currently can not go on HRT because they worry that estrogen may promote cancer growth.
      She feels depressed and is anxious that the cancer will return, that she may develop prolapse or urinary incontinence.
      It’s not the fucking same. Grrr!

    2. “To paint this as some sort of issue that only affects trans people, as that Indiegogo page does, is offensive beyond measure.”
      Ashland, thank you for sharing that information that comes from your first-hand experience. I’m very sorry for your ordeal with breast cancer–the terror, the treatments, the surgeries and post-surgeries.
      Mastectomy as a trans issue couldn’t be anything but deeply offensive to breast cancer patients and survivors. Aside from the surgical techniques used in removing breast tissue, there is really nothing to compare between women with this devastating illness to women who are modifying their bodies to look like men. And, just calling this victim of a botched (and, importantly, unnecessary) double mastectomy “he,” again and again, can take the mind further and further away from the urgency of a potentially life-threatening disease which overwhelming affects females.

    3. Awww, thanks everyone! Right back atcha. XXXXOOOO And I’m doing fine (knock wood).

      1. Mum passed away on veteran’s day, and I’m sure her long course of hrt was a factor that contributed to her breast cancer. likewise my girlfriend’s sister who is currently battling ovarian cancer. That transgenger patients bemoan the limited efficacy of diagnosis and treatment of their condition related not so much to their condition per se as to their – male-centric – expectations of care. We imagine that our every indulgence will be catered for and/or wished away but sadly – or maybe, just as well – that is not so.

      2. Guls, I am so sorry to hear about your mum. That’s rough. 🙁 I hope you’re taking care of yourself.

  4. “Health care options for transgendered people are severely limited. Manitoba Health do not currently cover transgendered surgery out of province. In order to fix the terrible damage, Damien is expected to return the surgeon who performed the initial surgery. “
    Wait, I’m confused. There’s only one plastic surgeon in Manitoba? (The one who performed the initial surgery?) So now she has to go to Ontario?
    The care she received sounds appalling. This whole thing is so fucked up, on every level.

    1. The care the person who wrote this says she said she received. Initial surgery paid for by the taxpayer. Corrective (for who knows what reason) paid for by fundraiser, now PTSD for the WIN!

      1. I’m not sure. There may be a chance he was requested to go there, or there is a lower price, or a more trusted doctor. I remember Damien brought me back Pyjamas. He went with Alan Rae. Maybe Alan recommended that doctor.

  5. ‘Trans people, I’ve noticed, talk a lot about their non/existence. Apparently, another’s perceptions about their sex, if it doesn’t reflect back exactly their own perceptions, can render them disappeared, gone. How awful. What a tenuous existence, indeed, that relies so completely on other people validating their own gender fantasies or deeply mistaken beliefs. If we don’t do it, they may die–literally or psychologically.’
    !! Indeed Morag99. But for people so exterminated by/about to drop dead from the odd wrong pronoun, they do rather a lot of lusty screaming on the internet and punching hard above their statistical weight. It’s a good trick.

    1. They are the 0.03%! (I think that’s their population, but it may be higher considering that the definition of trans now includes anyone who doesn’t conform to sex roles.)
      Transgenders need people to constantly validate their identities because their identities are so fragile and not based on reality.

  6. No amount of surgery is going to turn a biological woman into a man. There’s no need to sugar coat it. Even if you think you avoid being a female you can never avoid being a female. Oh and having a flat chess doesn’t turn you into a man; females start out having a flat chess too.

    1. I’m his daughter and he did explain it to the family. It’s not guaranteed he will just turn into a man with magic. And he didn’t, and probably WON’T, change his , lower area. He didn’t want his chest to appear female because he likely didn’t want more people laughing at him because he has women parts.

  7. Remember the guy who discovered that being pursued by men on a dating site isn’t a bed of roses? He’s 3 months post-op and trying to talk himself out of feeling duped and disappointed. He talks about his follow-up not going so well — the surgeon who boasted about doing such great work is now telling him he shouldn’t expect a good-looking faux-gina or sensation “down there,” and complains about the drudgery of dilation as well as the yuckiness of being unable to get lube out. Pretty gross. He does go on a lot about nothing, but it’s interesting to see moments of lucidity peek between the clouds of self-deception. (The previous video even calls out transhypocrisy on Jared Leto.)

    1. UGH. Horrible. Yes- he was the “Dumb Prick”.
      We tried to warn this dude. Poor bastard. They sell these guys a fiction that they will really be “female” and have a “vagina”. The more these guys do to metamorphosize (“transition”) the more they need to do. It’s a never ending road. These guys literally get the op in pursuit of the perfect autogynephilic orgasm- and so they can wear a bikini. Jesus.
      Dr. Christine McGinn sounds completely deranged. I think McGinn had his op from another dude: Marci Bowers. He has had massive facial surgery too. And now he does the same thing to other guys. Just like Bowers. “Dumb Prick” will probably be convincing other guys into doing the same thing soon enough. It’s like the nutjob who bangs on doors trying to convert people to their religion. Cult specialists call this conversion practice “self-sell”. Self-sell is one of the reasons transgenderists are so keen to engage with gender atheists and agnostics.
      “There’s really nothing out there you can do outside of a blood test now that you can prove that I am really trans” Dumb Prick says- yet he does not pass at all. To anyone. Ever. Next thing you know he will be planning another surgery. And another.
      I hope the dude will be okay. Post-SRS suicide rates are really high. Maybe some trans readers who are post SRS can reach out to this guy. He’s a super positive person tho- hopefully he can sustain that.
      Dear readers: You will never become the opposite sex! You will never be “stealth”! You think you can, but seriously, we all talk about you behind your back. Not unkindly, but as people do. We don’t do it to your face. But we all know. Male or female trans: I say this not to be cruel but in hopes that you will come to terms with the fact that you can never change your sex, and you will always be gendered according to your sex. Gender is assigned by others after all. Gender is not something you can control. It is something done to you, based on your sex, which cannot be changed.

      1. The “free srs” stood out to me, too. Hmmm… free surgery, to turn your man-junk into a pseudovag. Sounds like a great idea!
        So, he apparently doesn’t know an x-ray will show him male, even if he does happen to find people who think he’s female.

      2. I really don’t see what this dude’s complaining about. He gets to spend “3 to 5 hours a day” fixated on his shiny new “vagina,” staring at it in the mirror as he pokes himself with a phallic tool. Isn’t that what he wanted? Isn’t that what all of us girls do? Because, as we all know a key attribute of being a “woman,” is not only being an owner of a “vagina” that dead ends and fills itself with scar tissue, but shoving stuff up it all day long as one looks in a mirror and worries about “depth.” Because a vagina is only useful if it can be spelunked. To great depths. While holding a flashlight.
        Another bonus– dude gets to wear women’s sanitary products because of all the icky lube. He’s definitely in the club now! If he just tinted the lube red before shoving it up his fuckhole it would be just like having his period when the goop worked its way out of his body and onto his (very frilly and pink) panties. But really, he shouldn’t wear the pads all of the time, lest he deny himself the womanly fun of “bleeding” through ones clothing in public. Think of the validation that would result!
        Sigh…. I am so very tired of the colonization and fetishization of my bodily functions.

      3. I believe the free srs refers to it being fully insured by his new job. He went to confide in his new boss that he was trans and she was like, uh huh, thanks Capt Obvious. She being a good ally actually set up a private place for him to dilate at work! I hope he never forgets to lock the door or put in a pad before he leaves a trail of lube down the hall.
        He’s already trying to convince others, exhorting them to transition if they even think they might be trans! He himself says he never felt the same as most trans describe; sex was just awkward and “a little off,” whatever that means. It probably was something that could be worked out in the same time as a couple of dilation sessions. These “journeys” are most often a way for guys to distract themselves from their real problems.
        IMO he does look passably female until he opens his mouth or moves his hands, which is amazing because he started out a full-on dood. Then I saw another video where he was more full-body, less controlled lighting, and whoa, not so much.

      4. Free surgery. Omg. Deluded men butchering the bodies of other deluded men. It’s like the surgeon is using these dudes to make his feminization fantasies come true. He doesn’t care about the outcomes.

      5. Possibly the reference to “free SRS” (and then “privilege”) was about it being covered by insurance? I have no idea if it was or not.
        So many things about this video.
        (1) Just generally, why do so many people do these video diaries these days?
        (2) About the uneven psuedo-vag, and obsession: Plenty of women are very insecure about the looks of their genitalia, and it really doesn’t help that so much of US culture makes men and boys teasing about that mainstream. “Meat curtains” “fish” it goes on. It’s to the point that some young women are having plastic surgery on their bits to remove dangling inner labia or make things more “even” and in some cases it seems the ideal is the pornified smooth “just a slit” Barbie look. Meanwhile some of us were socialized to not even really look down there, never mind take a mirror to it, and we have hair hiding a lot of it anyway, and it was “down there” or “there” or “down below” or other euphemisms because we’re told as children that part is dirty and unclean.
        I saw another YouTube video from the BBC about an art project where someone was making plaster casts of various people’s vaginas, frilly lips and all, and putting them together in a mosaic sort of thing to say hey, all these variety and “unevennness” and various lengths of labia or not are NORMAL and it is beautiful as it is. Going to the bathhouse as a child was a nice sort of antidote too, you saw a variety of ACTUAL neighborhood women, naked, this is what women’s bodies REALLY look like, real people not just in the entertainment business but ordinary working people and grandmas. And you learn that grandma is beautiful.
        (3) Babying the surgery result – that one I sympathize with, as someone who has had other kinds of surgery. Often patients really don’t know “how far they can go” and are too conservative because of honestly worrying they’ll hurt themselves and be worse off. Having the doctor/nurse handle it “roughly” and show you that no, it’s not so fragile, is a good thing. Yes you can walk on your repaired knee pretty early, etc. Followup with patients to tell them when they’re officially “done” and should go back to 100% normal (or as good as it’s gonna get, depending on what surgery it was) is important.
        Last night lurking on another forum I saw some posts from a pre-op M2T who seemed to lack some pretty basic biology knowledge when it comes to how the genitalia are made, insisting that the inverted penis is really “the same tissues, just configured differently” from an actual vagina. Because we all start out basically female.
        Well, yeah, we do, but the changes that make a penis are making entirely different structures by the time it’s all done, and so no, it’s not the same thing as a vagina at all, “rearranged” or not. This person was saying that now in the best “advanced” surgeries they’re rerouting the output of some gland or other (from inside the body) to the pseudo-vag, so now it “lubricates just like it’s supposed to, it’s analogous structures” (again). I don’t know much about that, I’d heard of the version that uses part of the colon, but not else. I suppose I should google.
        But the bottom line is, an actual vagina connects up in the back to a cervix, provided you’ve not had your uterus removed for whatever reason. It’s not a blind pouch.
        Boggles my mind but there are M2T out there who insist that they can fool the doctor and even the OB/GYN. I am calling shenanigans on that.
        Anyway, FWIW, I’ve read things from people in the past with dysphoria around genitalia for whatever reason, who say that if there ever were a magic pill to be born again in a truly female body, they would take it, but because they know it really IS only “M2T” at best, there really doesn’t exist true “M2F” no matter how much people wish and Really Want To Believe, they just deal with the dysphoria as best they can, and won’t have any surgeries or “transition” or anything, they just accept that for whatever reason they’re stuck with this weird obsession. So there are some more grounded people out there, seems like.

      6. Hello GM. I am glad to see that you are still watching gender trends.
        If you can physically and psychically project frakability and vulnerability, some het men will treat you to Male Gaze, unasked for phone numbers, unasked for penis exposure, personal space invasion, following, waiting, and similar stalking behaviors and assorted other creepiness.
        Those actions reveal another aspect of men that I honestly I didn’t know about in my teens, despite trying to pass as one at the time. I had never experienced men behaving like that towards me before starting transition.
        As soon as I began to perform femininity (with “girly stuff” like wearing frail, restrictive clothing and shoes, letting down my hair), dealing with creepy male sex behaviors in public spaces became part of my life. Based on my lived experience I think it is fair to say that on a purely subjective/experiential level, for some people it is possible to control their perceived gender to a certain degree, regardless of their birth-assigned sex.

      7. @PG- possible to pass during fleeting encounters with strangers? At times, certainly. I am “misgendered” as male during fleeting public moments as well.

      8. pick up the phone and call anyone one of these guys and wake them up. Yeah–They are men, opps helloooo, until they remember to quick act female. If he never moved or said a word (which will never happen) he would pass at a distance. Dilate at work–and women can’t express milk in most work places but men get to do “man hole expansion” on their inverted penis– hope he get that “depth” he is striving for and comes to terms with the lopsidedness which is just an open nerve of creepy. By “free” I thought someone paid–you know us women men always pay for the tweaking and tightening and lifting of the fuck hole and tits

      9. “IMO he does look passably female until he opens his mouth or moves his hands, which is amazing because he started out a full-on dood.”
        The face is not a problem. Make up, surgery etc. But the rest of the body is. Just look at his big man-hands and listen to his voice. You can’t hide large feet, hands, broad shoulders and so on.

      10. Another thing I want to say regarding the surgery. I was on his website – I know how Dr. Christine McGinn “good” results look like. So since he said that this dude shouldn’t expect good looking results…holy shit. If his “good” work looks like a nightmare – I don’t want to know how his “bad work” looks like.

      11. Genetics make a big difference, of course, but passability all comes down to the skill of the con, the adeptness at which one manipulates the observer – and once you know the con, its baffling to see how anyone else could fall for it, but they do. Talking to male trans friends in places like Portland and certain areas of California, passing is much more difficult because people are exposed to trans with greater frequency, and so the manipulation is that much more challenging.
        In Tennessee, there seems to be a wide range of “wiggle room” where people can’t be positive one way or the other whether I’m trans – even though, as I’m aware, it should be obvious. Certainly anyone who frequents this site would immediately recognize me as male in real life. But people around here just don’t expect to meet a trans person (except in Memphis, but that’s a little different situation there for multiple reasons), and that in combination with pretty conservative gender roles makes it easier, and/or possible, to pass here.
        When I visited my family in Alabama, I was pretty worried about harassment since where I live in TN is actually pretty mind-your-own-business, but there was this immediate increase in passability being there. It was weird, and I think that in certain areas where “the con” is not as well known, more people fall for it.
        This may partially explain why so many of us dislike the greater visibility of trans issues – when trans passes the tipping point, almost no one can get away with passing anymore. I guess it really speaks to the conservative nature of female impersonation in general that the last bastions where some male trans can actually pass are in the Deep South. I dunno. Just an observation.
        Also, I am happy Damien’s fundraiser ended up raising its intended goal.

  8. Looks like we’ve done a lot to raise visibility of Damien’s fundraiser. She has almost met her goal. I do hope things work out better this time.

    1. I’m her daughter and he’s doing great!! We live with or dogs and cats with Damien’s roommate and we listen to music and sing and give out food to the kids around the block. Like when we picked every crabapple off my friend’s crabapple tree and we gave them out everywhere 😀

  9. Old article and unfortunately Daily Mail:
    From the ‘gay’ man:
    “‘As a gay man, at times it felt like I was in a relationship I shouldn’t really be in. I didn’t want to upset him so I bottled up a lot of my feelings.'”
    and one of the comments
    “I fully support those who genuinely have gender dysphoria, however I would expect genuine cases to reject every aspect of them that makes them the sex they were born. Yes it might not be possible for all to have the reassignment surgery, but surely the fact that Paul has had a child means he/she had no qualms about doing to one thing which typifies womanhood – giving birth. I don’t believe Paul genuinely has this disorder, more likely some trauma has happened in his/her life, and it is manifesting itself by his/her desire to look like the opposite sex. This seems obvious by his/her obvious desire to have sex as a woman (vaginally), with a man, and give birth. Stop wasting tax payers money on drugs for him/her and get him/her a decent psychiatrist!”
    What a douchebag commenter! Don’t they know that all your need is the ‘feeling’ of being the other sex? What a privileged cis bigot.

    1. ” had no qualms about doing to one thing which typifies womanhood – giving birth”
      Problem is the commentator has some issues as well, in that GIVING BIRTH means you’re probably female with the requisite female organs, but has bugger all to do with WOMANHOOD. So neither of them have got it right.
      It’s simple logic: because ONLY females give birth and because ONLY females can be women, doesn’t mean that to be a woman you HAVE to give birth, or that giving birth makes you more of a woman……………….Really, simple logic and some Venn diagrams explain things very easily!

      1. Yeah, being pregnant or having babies is not a prerequisite for being a woman.
        I interpreted it to mean:
        “If your dysphoria about being female is so intense that it warrants intervention, how can you possibly be okay with doing something that only females can do?”
        Which is true. How can you claim that your brain and body don’t match but then turn around and have babies?
        Males cannot have babies, their neurological map couldn’t comprehend it. How can you then claim to have a male brain? It makes no sense.
        A Venn diagram you say?

  10. I’m his daughter, please please feel free to ask me anything about Bob (what we call Damien as a joke). I saw that a lot of you disagreed with some statements in this article. Please explain why.

    1. Sasha- your mom is 34. That means you are probably a minor. I’m not comfortable hosting a Q and A with a minor on my blog, particularly one on the subject of your mother’s botched cosmetic breast surgery. Sorry.
      That being said, I’m glad your mom’s situation is improved and I’m glad she got a good response from this post.
      Best to you and yours. Take care.
      P.S. If at any point in the future you would like your comments here removed, just let me know. x

  11. Clearly you are a man hating feminazi. “Womyn” was the clue you were not an evangelical. I wonder if you also think intersex people need to become womyn to appease you?

    1. Merry Christmas, Silly Troll, who doesn’t know what a Nazi actually is. You should really try to find out. Lesson one: to throw that word around like it’s nothing, is to treat victims and survivors of genocidal fascism like they are nothing, too.
      Lesson two: Nobody has to “become” a woman, since females are already girls and women. Also, males are boys and men. But, you would already know if you had read more than 3 words on this blog. If you’re bored, you could try reading something before you harass.

    2. Well here is a lost dude, by ‘intersex’, you mean people with kalaman/klienfelter’s syndrome? Because these straight men that are XY want to identify as intersex, and that is called appropriating the lives of people with birth defects for your male sexual fantasy of having two complete sets of XX/Xy sexual organs, but that is rare with actual intersex people, you cant base sexual differences on the majority of a mammal population on birth defects and expect the XX women exclusively [like a male supremacist] to wipe your ass and cater to your delusion, .

    3. Yet another dude conflating intersexed people with trannies. Nice try, dude, but here we know the difference.

    4. As an ACTUAL intersex person- go fuck yourself.
      I’m sick as shit of transsexuals abusing our painful medical defects to further their agenda. You guys ALREADY have it better than us medically. While intersex surgeries are for corrections of birth defects or hormones may be necessary to maintain normal endocrine health (not replacement), you guys don’t need that crap at all and still choose to go through with damaging your health while getting it covered. Freaking sick.

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