A Man who dresses like a woman and doesn’t like being called “sir”

Man, dressed like woman, arrested for battery on clerk
published: Wednesday, December 18, 2013
SEBRING — A man who dresses like a woman and doesn’t like being called “sir” was jailed Sunday night on a battery charge.
Joseph Patrick Bueche, 25, of 442 Lime St. in Sebring allegedly hit a convenience store clerk over the head with a bottle after she forgot his gender preference.
He was found a short time after the event at his home in Sebring, thanks to a witness who followed his car.
The witness, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said she arrived at the store at 9:20 p.m. Sunday — the parking area was “very packed” — and as she was walking toward the door, she could see through the window that a hand was striking something.
Then a person walking out bumped into her as she walked in.
At first she thought it was a woman in a sundress, but then she saw the broad shoulders from the back and male-style Nike slippers and knew he was a man.
The clerk also described Bueche as 5-foot-8 with red, curly, shoulder-length hair, a thin build and a flowery dress.
The clerk told police she was behind the counter putting together cash for a drop into the store safe when she saw a person walk up and began to say “Sir, I’ll be with you in a minute.”
However, she immediately recognized Bueche as a regular customer who prefers to be addressed as a woman, so she stopped mid-sentence and said, “Ma’am, I’ll be with you in a minute.”
According to reports, Bueche yelled, “You damn well better call me ‘Ma’am,'” and threw a bottle of Mio water flavoring at her from a display on the counter.
The clerk told police he threw it hard enough to cause pain. She immediately grabbed the phone to call police and Bueche fled, bumping into the witness on the way out, reports said.
Believing Bueche had robbed the store, the witness took note of his appearance and car — a “midnight-blue” Jeep Liberty — and then followed him.
She told the News-Sun that she was feeding information to a 911 operator while following him to his house, located in the neighborhood immediately behind the downtown Sebring Police Station.
“I’m laughing,” the witness said, when she realized how easy he would be to catch.Once police began to arrive at his home, the witness returned to the store and gave a statement to officers there.
Three officers arrived at Bueche’s home, but he appeared to have escaped through a window, was running toward the area of Mae Lee’s Deli on North Ridgewood Drive, then jumped the fence at Ron’s Automotive, report said.
Officers yelled at him to stop, but were forced to chase him down and detain him.
When officers had the clerk identify him, she said she was “100 percent positive” that was him, reports said.
Sebring Police Cmdr. Steve Carr said the witness’ observations helped police catch Beuche quickly.
Dear Transgender Movement:
Guys! You can’t assault women into seeing you as female!
You can’t litigate people into seeing you as female!
You can’t violently force women to see you as female when you are male!
You can’t demand that police dispatchers ignore the safety of women officers when you as a male call in on a police radio pretending to be a female officer!
You can’t demand that TSA screeners fail to recognize your male sex!
You can’t demand that facial recognition technology fails to recognize your true sex!
You can’t demand that bars accept your male “boy mode” ID you when you are unrecognizable in your sex-stereotype costume !
You can insist all you want that you not be recognized by others as the male that you are, you can even pass laws demanding it, but your demands CAN NEVER BE SATISFIED. Even by those who would wish to comply. Because you are male. Indelibly, unchangeably, objectively male.
You have NO RIGHT to DEMAND that people ignore reality!
Perhaps more importantly to you, PEOPLE ARE NOT CAPABLE of ignoring reality! Your demands are unrealistic!
You are a Man Who Dresses Like a Woman and Doesn’t Like Being Called Sir.


48 thoughts on “A Man who dresses like a woman and doesn’t like being called “sir”

  1. This is the truth right here. Every female ever has gender disphoria because gender is sex stereotype bullshit. I just wrote a letter telling the gov they should pay for cosmetic dermatology for me because I identify as clear skinned. I doubt I will even get a response. I as a tax payer should not have my hard earned money go so they can get free radical cosmetic surgery when prescriptions including birth control and dental are not even covered in this province. Almost much every female I know has body image issues even that have severely impacted their mental health but none of demand the gov make her pretty!

  2. Hey I have been reading your blog. Before I was completely unaware of what the trans movement stands for and was one of those liberals who defended it out of the fact they are associated with the LGB movement.
    Why do you think the LGB movement is not dropping the T considering their agendas are practically polar opposites? Also can these trans men claim jobs and scholarships meant for women?
    Thank you for your work.

    1. Many LGB people think the T shouldn’t be there. But trans have been riding the coattails of the gay rights movement for so long many people (especially on the outside looking in) are afraid to say anything against them because it’s now seen as exactly the same as being homophobic.

    2. “Why do you think the LGB movement is not dropping the T considering their agendas are practically polar opposites? Also can these trans men claim jobs and scholarships meant for women?”
      Hi Hermione. I meant to get back to this- I didn’t have time to respond when I approved your comment.
      Short answer: I think the LGB has already dropped the T. And/or that the T has never really been part of the LGB. Now that moneyed conservative male lifetime closeted autogynephiles -like right-wing Republican Billionaire James “Jennifer” Prizker- are “coming out” I expect the transgender movement to completely separate from the LGB. Lesbians and Gays have zero interest in funding a gender movement which as you observe is inherently anti-gay and anti-woman. Now that DOMA and DADT have been overturned the GBL movement is seeing the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of achieving equality for homosexual people. Through decades of sacrifice by scores of individuals being “out” and proud in the face of discrimination- absorbing immeasurable suffering and economic deprivation- lesbians and gays have on the whole successfully integrated into society. The transgender fight to be recognized as being something other than what one is: the “UnPride” movement is something that lesbians and gays have no relation to and no intention of funding.
      Longer answer: The T attached itself to the GBL because of the history of lesbians and gays who were forced to “pass” as the opposite sex in order to live freely as homosexuals. This attachment benefits the transgender movement, which is largely heterosexual and homophobic and anti-feminist, by capitalizing on the political capital generated by the decades of sacrifice endured by countless lesbians and gays. Including an entire generation of gay men who were allowed to die hideously in a ghastly plague that was ignored by the powers that be. Without the political capital of the gay movement “endorsing” them, the transgender movement has to stand on its own merits, which are dubious and ill-defined: contradictory, regressive, and in some ways already made obsolete by the feminist and gay rights movements. So the GBL has no interest in the Trans movement but the Trans movement has a great interest in attaching itself to the GBL.
      One of the reasons it may appear that the T is still attached to the gay movement is that a paid activist infrastructure was created by lesbians and gays eager to achieve equality. Various activist organizations were funded for decades by the gay movement. This infrastructure, represented by various orgs: HRC, GLAAD, etc. is facing obsolescence now that gays have achieved integration. The careers of the people who were tasked with integrating homosexuals into society are now facing a loss of purpose and funding. These orgs are largely national, regional, and white and have no interest or expertise or ability to promote integration in other areas of the world like Russia – or hotbeds for anti-gay rape torture and massacre like the middle east, South America and Africa. Rather than re-tool these orgs for international activism for GBL people these activists are counting on new transgender money and support to continue and sustain their paid activist careers. By re-tooling to represent other non-GBL moneyed western interests (the transgender movement) they hope to maintain their levels of funding, thus saving their orgs and careers. Whether this strategy will succeed remains to be seen. What they have to offer is the social capital of decades of lesbian and gay sacrifice and the existing political relationships and infrastructure. What they cannot offer is independence and self-creation for the transgender movement.
      In terms of the support of lesbians and gays on the ground- the non-official, non-infrastructure homos: many of us have people in our lives who have transgendered in order to cope with or maximize our survival as homosexuals under the gender system. Every gay or lesbian knows someone who has transgendered as a means to improve their lot under the gender system. Those of us who are Nellie fags or Butch dykes continue to face incredible social and economic consequences even as gays and lesbians (as an abstract whole) are approaching social integration. The transgender movement now serves as an agent of the backlash against acceptance of the sex-role equality embedded in the gay rights movement. Rather than allowing the feminist and gay movements to eradicate sex-based social roles based on male domination and female subordination, the transgender movement serves to roll-back the feminist and gay movement momentum into a calcified gender nostalgia which integrates only the sex-role conformists among us and which frames sex-role “incongruence” among lesbians, gays, and members of society at large, as an undesirable deformity, a shameful humiliation, and a medically correctable trait.

      1. GallusMag thank you for your detailed response!
        Let’s hope the trans movement does go solo so people start seeing it for what it actually is: a movement of mentally ill people (ok men) with a delusion seeded in engrained sexism and self hatred, and a medical industry that puts profits before health, and found in the mentally ill a good group to exploit.
        Certainly the pinkification of girlhood (and womanhood) is a huge factor in people’s acceptance of the laws put in place by the trans movement. I think if we dealt with that and the greedy medical industry we would solve the problem bypassing the trans activists altogether.

  3. nothing is ever good enough for these punks, is it? the clerk even “corrected” herself and referred to him as ma’am, but oh, too late sweetie. brace yourself for the male violence.
    well done to the woman who followed him. and I love how she was laughing about it. The second worst oppression for trans after being misgendered is being laughed at. Now that’s TRUE violence, dontcha know.

  4. Not saying what that guy did was right , but there are those of us that never asked to be transgender. Only to be born this way. I know I’m so fucking lucky to be born this way.I never asked to be born like this. Hell I would give anything to be normal and not viewed as some sort of freak.

    1. Well normal people do not play out their hatred of women publically in the 7/11 and demand the whole fucking world honor their bullshit. You want to “be normal” Take note defending some prick and whining about what you want is not normal. You want attention and pity–well those comes at a price–contempt and loathing. Put up or shut up.

    2. Probably the closest thing to gender dysphoria that I can relate to is anorexia. I was anorexic. I was 100% certain that I was a person who could not eat like a normal person, certain that I was hideously fat even when I was overweight, and I became upset and angry when people tried to get me to eat more. Many anorectics are suicidal, and I understand that. But I did not demand that people call me “fatso,” did not demand that I be allowed into weight watchers or fat pride meetings, did not demand that the state pay for liposuction or whatever I thought I needed to ease my distress. I eventually recognized that I was mentally ill and, with great difficulty, worked with professionals to make me whole again. It was hard, it was expensive, and it was uncomfortable, but I managed to overcome it and go back to a normal life. Delusions are not a sign of a healthy mind, and demanding that others cater to your delusions is not going to make you well.

    3. ” Only to be born this way.”
      If you cannot prove you were born that way, then why claim? Not trying to be an ass, but for a transgender condition I don’t think anyone can claim ‘born this way’. I think there’s not any test for that.
      “Not saying what that guy did was right”
      He’s violent, unstable, and dangerous. It doesn’t matter what psychological or congenital condition he might have. No excuse, totally unacceptable.

    4. “Born This Way” is a sentiment best left to the publicity machine that tried to convince people that Lady Gaga is some sort of gay friendly icon. It’s also an enormous cop-out that prevents you from looking objectively at your circumstances and identifying real root causes of the problem.
      Here’s the facts:
      * There is no test, or any medical or scientific evidence to support anyone being “transgender”. (As I type this in Google Chrome, transgender is even underlined as a word not in the dictionary.)
      * There is no test, or any medical or scientific evidence to support anyone being “gay”, or “lesbian”.
      * There are mountains of scientific evidence, medical procedures and tests that can determine without a doubt whether you are sexed male or female.
      * “Gender” hurts us all, and the study of radical feminism is one of dismantling the gender system to the benefit of us all.
      Don’t cop-out on “born this way” it’s ridiculous. What you’re experiencing is an innate *rejection of gender*, NOT an innate misalignment with your *sex*. That’s amazing. You really are lucky to to be able to step outside the confines of a very tiny box and see the world as it should be rather than how it is.
      By claiming that it means you were “born” transgender is a slap in the face to all the wonderful females here who reject gender, and gender performance. Being transgender is actually a reinforcement of and strict alignment to the gender binary. You *are* normal. It’s normal to push against a system that doesn’t represent you! You make *yourself* a “freak” by so stridently maintaining your allegiance to a system that bends us over again and again with most people having no idea how hard they’re getting fucked by a system that doesn’t want to acknowledge it got left behind sixty years ago or more.
      Be you, and heft your fingers high to gender. It will set you free.

      1. Hi, can I just stop you right there for a second?
        “By claiming that it means you were “born” transgender is a slap in the face to all the wonderful females here who reject gender, and gender performance. Being transgender is actually a reinforcement of and strict alignment to the gender binary. You *are* normal. It’s normal to push against a system that doesn’t represent you!”
        This is amazing. Just wanted to say.
        There is another great article that touches on this:
        “I believe things like “genderqueer,” “gender variant,” and “non-binary” ignore that most people are gender variant, that it is not in fact extraordinary to be uncomfortable with gender roles, and that “cis” is a bullshit concept.”

  5. The articles referred to above are one of the things that come to mind when I read the perpetual “trans movement lagging behind gay rights” op-eds. (Or articles like this one: http://www.seattlepi.com/news/us/article/Many-hurdles-ahead-for-transgender-rights-movement-5064677.php).
    Can you really have a “rights” movement based on demanding that the random public pretend that you aren’t doing what you are doing, that you have the right to be free from anyone acknowledging or noticing that you are doing the thing you claim you have a right to do? I mean has there ever been any other “rights” movement based on this?
    People have a right to believe in a guy with a white beard who lives in outer space, but they don’t have the right to demand I pretend to believe in it. They don’t have the right to demand I refer to them as “Reverend Joe” or “Father Tim” or whatever.
    The cop in the article linked above sued for damages from the shame and humiliation of being forced to acknowledge his maleness. The shame of his transgenderism. This is not a “pride” movement, this is a “shame” movement.

  6. It’s amazing that “cis gendered” people never seem to get this upset at being mistakenly addressed as the wrong sex.

    1. Right?! I “mis-gendered” a butch woman in front of me in line at the post office once. It was the middle of winter, and everyone was quite bundled up in heavy coats, which of course tend to make everyone look rectangular. She had very short hair (as do I), and it was an honest mistake. When she turned around, we both just laughed about it. If it happened to me, I would just laugh it off. But no, men like Joe Bueche use this as an excuse to physically attack a woman.
      And you know he was just waiting for an excuse.

      1. Happens to me all the time – and it doesn’t bother me either. Weird thing is how over the top apologetic some of the clerks/bartenders/etc will get when I correct them (or even if I don’t bother, but start speaking and my voice lets them know) – it’s as if they really think I’m going to be so offended, and after reading articles like the one posted here now for some time, I’m starting to wonder if they have had bad experiences with some other people or what.
        What DOES bother me though, and bothers me a great deal, are people who try to imply that the way I am, my tastes and personality and interests, mean that I must somehow be trans. And these people usually are saying this with the best of intentions, or some weird attempt to “diagnose” or what. It’s saying that I have a problem of some sort.
        I don’t have a problem, unless you count the “problem” I’ve had of OTHER people telling me I can’t do things because I’m a female human. But I’m happy in my own skin, even if someone says “do you know what you’d like to drink sir?”

      2. Ashland and Adrian…It happens to me too, and guess what, I’m not offended either. The place where it was the most awkward (not for me, but the clerk) was in our local food coop. He apologized over and over, and I had to reassure him several times that I was not offended. I think he felt bad because my city is waaaaay to politically correct, and he needs to be super vigilant because there is a M-to-trans who works there. Ugh.
        P.S. I’m proud of my strong, butch body, and the program my trainer has me on, which is called “big and strong”

  7. I wonder what the gay rights movement would have accomplished if it was run like the transgender rights movement:
    If gays lobbied the government to erase all traces and evidence that they participated in same-sex relations (redacting shared property records, etc.) on the grounds that any legal trail that revealed homosexuality might “subject them to discrimination”.
    If gays sued over the trauma of being reminded that they shamefully took part in (inherently humiliating and traumatizing) same-sex relationships.
    If gays supported 18 month-old children being “diagnosed” with homosexuality, and formed a chicken circuit of six-year-old “gay children” who they trotted out for talk show appearances where the “gay children” were cheered for their “bravery”. Where said children were slotted into programs by teams of professionals whose goal was to best disguise the gay children as heterosexual, so that they would “fit in” better, later in life, and their homosexuality pass detection.
    Where parents would tearfully describe how they intend to put their brave “gay toddlers” on maturation-inhibiting drugs followed by elective irreversible lifetime disability and drug dependence to give them the best hope of “passing” as heterosexual adults.
    If gays insisted that those whose homosexuality includes a clear sexual component were “not true gays” but fetishistic sexual perverts who they disown.
    If gays held seminars to troubleshoot overcoming the resistance of heterosexual “bigots” who refused to have gay sex with them.
    If gays demanded the right to be addressed by nicknames by arresting officers in the interest of protecting their identity and their feelings- because being openly gay is too humiliating and upsetting to them.
    If gay men insisted on using women’s restrooms and locker rooms out of fear of homophobic violence and harassment from other men.
    If gay activists demanded increased media visibility yet with the caveat that homosexuality never be mentioned.

  8. Yes, quite the eye-opener.
    The thing is, people call me Sir all the time. I’m actually not interested in correcting them, I’ve got better things to do with my time. I figure they see what they want to see. I don’t expect the world to be very bright or observant, and maybe on some level, this has been a survival strategy of mine– so that I can go anywhere I want to at night and will be largely left alone.
    I think the whole male to trans thing comes out of their total shock AS MEN, that the world doesn’t cater to your every need, that you are not special. When these guys dress up as sterotypical women, they are shocked at how women are actually treated, which is what women live with daily. They are not prepared to be on the receiving end of this social indifference or degredation, and they go crazy and attack store clerks out of this insanity. Get used to it, people will call you Sir, they’ll mistake your nationality, they’ll forget your name– sorry to report the world does not revolve around your every whim and need trans people.

  9. People have mistaken me for a PREGNANT WOMAN. That’s right, I’m so big on top, and wear loose shirts, that sometimes people have asked me WHEN I’M DUE. Not only adults have thought I was pregnant – there have also been children who thought I was having a baby also!
    I wouldn’t DREAM of attacking or getting angry with someone for assuming I was pregnant. I just make a note to myself when I see a woman and I think she MIGHT be pregnant – I let her tell me if she is (if she wants to share that information) – I don’t just blurt out “when are you due?” ‘Cuz as I know from firsthand experience, she might not be…….
    Interesting that trans person can’t take this as a lesson, not to ASSUME things about other people…..

  10. Reblogged this on I'M NOT "TRANSGENDER" ANY MORE and commented:
    A classic case of transgender narcissistic rage, a violent, potentially murderous outburst because a woman “misgendered” this guy. INSANE. And yet this anger is completely normal in m2trans fake “women.” These guys don’t always lash out with physical violence at “misgendering,” but they do, very often, exhibit intense anger or rage. The target of such rage always seems to be women. Do they rage at (other) men who “misgender” them? I haven’t heard of this happening. They only seem to do it to (real) women. The way things are going in our society, they’ll probably let the guy go and prosecute the woman for a “human rights violation.”
    The comments below the article are really excellent.

  11. I find it interesting that you’re telling people what they can and can’t feel and hope for. Of course the person in this news story is a sick fuck but when you go on your tirade about what people can and cannot demand… It sounds a lot like conservative men talking.
    You can’t demand that we recognize you as intelligent equals.
    You can’t demand that we hold your job much less pay you if you become pregnant.
    You can’t demand that we pay for pills that enable a liberal sex life.
    You can’t demand etc etc etc.
    Telling people what they can and cannot work, hope, strive for, or demand is the tactic that groups in power have used against those they oppress since the beginning of time. Dismissing people’s conserns such as the tsa scans has been a tactic that people in power have used to control those without and keep them in their place.
    It is not your right to define me, as I have no right to defin you nor would I ever attempt to. I only ask for the same basic respect in return. I certainly will never tell you that you’re not allowed to think or work for something.

    1. You have penis, you are a male. I don’t give a flying fuck what you wear or how you ‘identify’.
      No one can really demand anything. The individual always has the right to refuse. No-one can force you to accept women as humans, just don’t expect people to warm to you if you continue to spew misogynistic bullshit.
      “You can’t demand that we recognize you as intelligent equals.”
      -No, but women are intelligent equals. Because we ARE, we should be treated as such. We are HUMAN,
      Men ARE NOT women and can never be women. There is no “I am now a woman”
      So no, we don’t have to treat you as a woman. Whatever the fuck that even means….
      “You can’t demand that we hold your job much less pay you if you become pregnant.”
      -Pregnancy, also a reality. You can’t ‘identify’ as pregnant, you just ARE pregnant. Pregnancy is a reality unique only to us. If you can’t accept the reality that women get pregnant, then you are a fucking moron who shouldn’t be in charge of a business.
      If women didn’t get pregnant because they wanted to keep their kob, the population would stagnate and you’d have reduced numbers of future employees or consumers. That is stupid fucking logic.
      “You can’t demand that we pay for pills that enable a liberal sex life”.
      – Fertility and reproduction ARE also REALITIES. You can not identify/feel/think your way out of it.
      Maybe some people don’t want to pay for pill access for women because it doesn’t effect them and women are all just sluts slutting around.
      Too fucking bad, I don’t want to pay for viagra on PBS (Medicare) for men. I don’t want my tax money going to big corporations or miners either which is a separate rant.
      But I accept that I will never be totally happy with everything in the history of society. Provided that I am entitled to the same things, I am not going to protest it.
      Males want to improve their sex life? Fine, but I get to control my reproduction then.

  12. Beyond the obvious shittiness of what happened (hey, I’ve been “misgendered” too, and you don’t see me kicking someone’s ass over it), it’s depressing how many people see service workers as convenient targets for their anger. I’ve done convenience store work as well, and the amount of petty, spiteful nastiness people will heap on the cashier (I SAID MARLBORO ULTRA LIGHTS, YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT) is staggering. I get it, you’re having a crappy day. Lighten the fuck up. Soooo glad I worked at an indie store that allowed you to not take as much shit from people, as opposed to the more corporate stores that require you to take an obsequious “right away, I’m so sorry sir,” approach to assholes.

    1. Yep. I work for a corporate store on the weekends. Once had a lady threaten to kill me for packing her bags wrong.
      I think everyone should have to work retail in their life, and as punishment for being overly rude to someone behind the register the perpetrator should have to work behind the register while everyone in the store gives them shit.

    1. “Green was convicted after torturing Robert Shankland to death following a disagreement about a bag of chips.”
      Holy shit, I wish that story wasn’t real.

    2. Whoa, that was quick! It makes one wonder if there were once reasons why prisons were once strictly sex-segregated.

  13. As a tumblr regular I have to come here every once in a while to remind myself there is still a small group of people with a grasp on reality. I hate the fact I feel so alienated, as a woman and as a lesbian. I can’t even find comfort in the gay movement ( Oops I mean the QUEER movement. Which has shifted it’s focus to trans identities and other postmodern ethereal fluid feely gender garbage ) Man, it sure gets lonely.
    I really hope things improve. Everyone in my age bracket just seems to be inundated with this crap.

    1. Yeah, isn’t it nice that straight men in dresses calling themselves “lesbians” have co-opted our movement and re-named it a slur against gays?

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