Butch Lesbian, Radical Feminist, and Former FTM: Heath Atom Russell on Gender Dysphoria, De-transition and “Brain Sex”

Heath Atom Russell - still from the video linked below
Heath Atom Russell – still from the video linked below

Self-described “Unapologetic Butch Lesbian, Radical Feminist and Former FTM” Heath Atom Russell covers a lot of ground in this video as she discusses stopping testosterone and healing from body dysphoria in a woman-hating world. She applies her personal experience to critique the medicalization of gender, YouTube trans-trending, the homophobia of “Queer Culture”, misogyny, lesbophobia, the theory of “Brain Sex”, and the process of becoming a proud woman.
Heath is extremely thoughtful and well-spoken and intends to offer her perspective to others who are interested in detransitioning as well as offering “a word of caution” to the public at large. In the video she discusses the rape and death threats she has received from some members of the transgender community for speaking publicly about her experiences at her blog, which is here: http://nymeses.tumblr.com/
Heath discusses the ill-health effects of synthetic testosterone and breast binders on female bodies, including her own and the cultural explosion of gender-based medicine, especially among youth.
Click here to VIEW
In correspondence with GenderTrender, Heath stated that what she really wants readers to know is “that doctors don’t always have people’s best interests at heart” and “long term synthetic hormone use is not exempt from the never ending guinea pig treatment that, overwhelmingly, homosexuals are subjected to receiving”. She would like to see more discussion of misogyny, homophobia, and internalized lesbophobia in the LGBT community- particularly their effect on the creation and exacerbation of sex-based body dysphoria and body dysmorphia.
She expresses concern about the medical industry trend towards pathologizing gender-nonconformity in children, adding: “ I’d also like them all to be made aware that the criteria for gender dysphoria is so purposefully vague that it can target ANY child that doesn’t rigidly conform to patriarchal gender roles and that drugging children isn’t the answer – overcoming misogyny and homophobia IS the answer along with letting kids just be kids for a while before messing with their health!”
Heath mentioned that some trans viewers have complained that detransitioners should not be given a platform to speak because they are not medical professionals, or because hearing about detransition may “cause” trans viewers to feel suicidal. GenderTrender disclaimer: Heath Atom Russell is Not a Medical Professional. Please consult your personal physician, not people on the internet, for your health care needs. Also, here is a link to suicide hotline resources and support: http://www.suicide.org/suicide-hotlines.html
I want to thank Heath for everything she is doing. Most detransitioners either choose or are forced into silence which makes it difficult for individuals considering transition to get an accurate view of the diversity of experiences involved. Her video is highly recommended for all female transitioners and for anyone interested in transgenderism. Please give her your full support. Thank you Heath. 


95 thoughts on “Butch Lesbian, Radical Feminist, and Former FTM: Heath Atom Russell on Gender Dysphoria, De-transition and “Brain Sex”

  1. This is great, thank you Heath and GallusMag!
    It really is strange that some transgenders object to her telling her story by implying that ALL transgenders would get suicidal from listening to Heath. That can ONLY be the case if ALL transgenders make the wrong choice. How can those who are perfectly fine with transitioning change their minds just because it is not the right thing for someone else? Thus there must be more to it… And where is the concern and compassion for those who did make the wrong decision?

    1. Not to mention if your choice cannot stand up to criticism, it’s probably the wrong choice.

      1. In my opinion, it is great that she is able to share her personal experience. However, I believe it should be more strongly noted that it is just that- her personal experience. Too often we (as humans) jump to conclusions and generalizations based on one data point or story. The trouble here is that yes, she identified as a trans man, began to physically transition, and then realized that wasn’t really who she was, but that in no way means that every trans* person is mistaken or misled. It can be hard to tell the difference (for ftm folks) between dysphoria(1) and internalized misogyny. I know people who have gone both ways, someone who thought their feelings were misogyny for 20 years before realizing they were actually dysphoria and starting to socially transition. Their mental health is so much better now. Another friend experienced something like Heath’s journey. She identified as trans* for a few years before realizing it really was internalized misogyny she was feeling, and that she could overcome it. These are two different experiences, but neither invalidates the other. Each person feels differently about their gender, body, and presentation.
        (1) Dysphoria – emotional pain or intense discomfort surrounding feeling like your body is not your own based on gender or stemming from other people’s incorrect assumptions about your gender. I promise you, dysphoria is real and leads to depression and anxiety among other things. Before you dismiss it as myth, make sure your arguments do not mirror those that seek to stigmatize other mental health concerns.
        On the whole, I think the trans* community is very focused on validating personal narratives, so why the backlash against Heath? The reason that comes to my mind has more to do with personal relations than a stranger on the internet talking about her feelings. When you fight every single day to have a key part of your identity even seen (not accepted, not tolerated, but just acknowledged), anything that seems like it could be holding that back is terrifying. For me (who has been arguing with my mother for quite some time that I am not her daughter), anything that even hints at the sort of radfem arguments she uses is triggering. It brings it all to the front of my mind, and makes me doubt whether my mother, family, and society will ever see me in any sort of approximation of how I see myself. I become very anxious, not over whether I’m making the right choice, but because of the words used against me by someone who I thought understood me better than anyone.
        As for critically thinking about a choice. Perhaps I misunderstood you, but I have issues with what I think you mean. Identity is not something that can be/needs to be validated with logic. It is “illogical” to be gay (or at least out) in our society. I am sure I don’t have to point out to you the reasons why. Saying that nobody should be trans* men because testosterone can be damaging to your body and binders have longterm effects on ribs/lungs is like saying that someone who is gay shouldn’t ever come out because they will be systematically discriminated against as a queer person in our society. Of course, there are major cons that can come with denying these identities- cons that very person to person. Just because one individual may feel comfortable keeping quiet about their sexuality, doesn’t mean that another might not suffer from horrible depression if they are forced to. The same is true for trans* folks. Which again brings us back to the point about not generalizing based on one personal account.
        One final note, transgender is an adjective, not a noun. I am a transgender person, not a transgender. This is because although might be a large part of someone’s identity, it is not the only part. This relates to the same way we do not describe someone as “a gay” or even “a diabetic” (anymore). So why is lesbian a noun then? We could talk about the patriarchal assumptions that all you need to know about a lesbian is that, but that would be rather tangental.

      2. This idea of her telling her mother that she’s not her daughter has been troubling me since I read it this morning. You can not force people to pretend to believe your delusions. And probably most humans on earth can be diagnosed with some kind of ‘body disphoria-‘ it’s nonsense.

      3. “(1) Dysphoria – emotional pain or intense discomfort surrounding feeling like your body is not your own based on gender or stemming from other people’s incorrect assumptions about your gender.”
        It’s interesting how you describe your sex dysphoria as stemming from other people’s perceptions of your sex. Is this like having dysphoria about one’s nose because other people keep saying how large and distracting it is? Or, how Jewish? Or, Black? Or ? If it weren’t for “the others” the dysphoria would not be stemmed. The nose would be a nose.
        The intense discomfort of others assuming that your body is the type that is capable of producing and gestating ova? Which is the type that is a frivolous disposable inferior sex-cow rape-bait dumb-dumb stupid bitch? The sub-human type?
        Being recognized as female means you will be treated as a subhuman dullard; you will be monitored and surveiled constantly; you will be disrespected and degraded; your sexuality will represent submission; you will be violently preyed upon by men at every opportunity; you will live under constant threat, your freedom and mobility impaired; your ability to reproduce will become a unit of commerce, to be traded and controlled by those who cannot (males). You will live in a warzone where the war has already been won and your literal survival is conditioned on your ability to continually perform evidence of your subordination to your violent sadistic occupier overlords.
        You know deeply that these conditions are unacceptable, unwarranted, and just not “who you are”.
        Like that?

      4. “Perhaps I misunderstood you, but I have issues with what I think you mean. Identity is not something that can be/needs to be validated with logic.”
        Ha! Very funny, and the whole problem with this nonsense in a nutshell. You ARE whatever you say you are, what nonsense. Plus the unspoken addition — and you are REALLY BAD if you dare to disagree with my delusion…………
        Plus the usual attempt to link trans with gay (gay isn’t an identity!).
        And finally we have an attempt to mess about with lesbian! Of course, helps if when puzzled by the existence of a noun, you know bugger-all about the etymology. Lesbian as in inhabitant of the Isle of Lesbos, so more odd than american being a noun.
        The whole transplainin’ tone is so strong with this one, you don’t even need to fill out the bingo card, you KNOW you’ll get a full house! And the whole passive-agressive ‘I MAY be misunderstanding you’ shite.
        “and makes me doubt whether my mother, family, and society will ever see me in any sort of approximation of how I see myself”
        WHY should they? Why is it required that the rest of society validates what you see as a vital part of your identity. The rest of the world is not required to agree with your personal delusion, and perhaps your problem here is requiring that they do. Why do you give a fuck? Apart from with trans, the external validation IS in effect the identity. Which makes it really clear that it ISN’T about yourself at all really.
        ” gay shouldn’t ever come out because they will be systematically discriminated against as a queer person in our society” Gay ISN’T the same as queer. As we used to know before the whole queer/trans shite started colonizing the lesbian and gay community.

  2. Heath, thank you for making your presence and experience known to us.
    And thank you (again) Gallus for bring this to your widely-read wordpress blog.
    It’s a beautiful morning. 🙂

  3. “Heath mentioned that some trans viewers have complained that detransitioners should not be given a platform to speak because they are not medical professionals, or because hearing about detransition may “cause” trans viewers to feel suicidal.”
    Hmm I find that quite strange, women all over the world suffer violence, rape, homelessness, depression, and overall are treated as second class citizens and yet most do not commit suicide. But someone on the internet says something a transgender person (oh who am I kidding, it’s always a male) doesn’t like, and it just hurts so much that they have to waste gallons of virtual ink on the internet about how they’re going to commit suicide.

    1. Actually we shouldn’t be surprised (perhaps I’m the only one reading it that way) by the trans positioning themselves all over again as some sort of pathetic victims in their quest to silence critics. SSDD, ya know.
      Heath, you go girl!! Thanks for the video and the intelligence and courage that you bring to this!

    2. White males have the highest suicide rates.
      There is no actual record of transgender suicide rates, except for studies which show a high percentage of hanging deaths (presumably from autoasphyxiation) are men wearing female undergarments.
      What we have are the results of various self-reported surveys, many anonymous, all unverifiable. The most recent ones cite a lifetime attempt rate in the neighborhood of 40%, which is around seven times higher than the 5-6% lifetime rate of the general public.
      Other groups with a 40% lifetime attempt rate include those suffering from bulimia and those diagnosed as bipolar, among others.
      We don’t see other groups claiming that disagreeing with their delusions causes suicidality- as far as I know. For example I’ve never seen someone struggling with bulimia claim that people telling them they do not need to lose weight cause suicidality.
      Nor claim that those who recovered from an eating disorder or body dysmorphia cause suicidality and should be silenced, or that they “were never really bulimic” if they did recover.

      1. Suicide is violence. It’s odd, isn’t it, that there’s a group that is declaring themselves to be 110% violent?
        It’s like that 1-in-5 trans is homeless statistic that went around last week.
        1.) can we compare that to other populations with severe mental illness? It might actually be low.
        2.) what percentage of males, period, trans or otherwise, are holding out for jobs where they get to mess with photoshop all day and are refusing any other kind of work?
        3.) how many “trans” kicked out by their parents are first kicked out because they are believed to be gay? Especially among non-whites (who seem to have a smaller percentage of pretendbians in their midst these days).
        4,) a lot of homeless shelters actually have a spike in the summer months because heat makes people crazy and when males get crazy, they do shit that harms both their employment and housing situations. I’d imagine that transwomen behave similarly despite their ladybrains given how they act out on the internet. I know a homeless guy who gets phoned by his mother every day and she closes the conversation with “I love you. Please don’t come home.”
        5. Homeless males with severe mental illness are privileged when it comes to having others step in on their behalf precisely because they’re scary. If a person is living in a dumpster in 20F weather, social services and the police will probably determine a female has the agency to choose to do that but will probably find a reason to remove a male based on the fact that his presence in that dumpster is scary or disruptive to somebody. I’m fairly confident someone with a male frame dressed as a woman would provoke the latter response.
        6. Female homelessness is almost always tied to biology: children. A lot of homeless lesbians I know have multiple kids, not always with them. Male homelessness is almost always divorced from their breeder status: they’d be just as homeless with 50 kids or zero kids. FTM vs. MTF homelessness probably follows the pattern of sex, not gender, but who needs facts when you can just throw out numbers?

  4. Nothing surprising here at all. Just more of the Transgender = good Transsexual = Bad crap. As for detransition it deserves a far more credible person than Heath to speak for that experience. I do have a feeling though that LGBT activists will be far more likely to not want to listen to what they have to say, than say a pro LGBT never really transitioned Heath type. By never really transitioned I mean never had any irreversible surgery just did hormones. Those are the ones that turn out to be the heterosexuals in their birth sex. I will give Heath credit for one issue though psychologist are way to easy in questioning why a person wants to transistion. I think Heath also makes a great example in his attempted discrediting of brain sex. My experience is that those who transistion for fetishistic or other reasons are appalled by the idea that their transistion is related to a birth defect instead of their sexual fantasies or gender exploitation. Their facial expression when confronted with that reality gives them away. Someone who truly has a cross sexed identity understands that there is something going on biologically that causes them to have a cross sexed identity. They also understand what it means to be a called a liar for having a cross sexed identity and welcome any research that says we aren’t lying.
    As for the intersexed the LGBT had its I stripped from it and rightly so. So an LGBT activist pointing the finger at Transsexuals and saying that the intersexed are only wanting to be distanced from Transsexuals is a joke. Speaking solely for myself I want nothing to do with the Jerry springer like freak show that I know LGBT activist to be like.
    As for the brain issue are you really going to deny that there are well recognized differences in brain volume and left and right brain hemisphere activism between males and females? Do you really, really want to argue that the brain plays no part in sexual identy or orientation? Your arguement and Heaths arguement harkens back to a time when the brain was considered a worthless organ. I’ve never met in real life a person stupid enough to deny that the brain plays a very significant role in a persons sex.

    1. You’re way way behind the times amym440. Better catch up with some thorough reading.
      1) There’s no such thing as differences between male brains and female brains. After centuries of trying, scientists have failed to prove that there are any. Plenty of researchers have proved that there aren’t. Do catch up:
      2) Many people are trying desperately to conflate sex, gender identity, and sexual orientation, just as you are in your comment. People like you want the confusion to continue because trans need to continue riding the GLB coattails AND to get liberal feminists and liberals in general to support their regressive agenda.
      We’ve ALL met people stupid enough to keep making these claims, you’re just the latest.

    2. amym440: I am NOT asserting that transgender = good and transsexualism = bad. I am asserting that the idea of gender itself is a harmful social construct. Also, while the brain might play a role in sexual identity, doctors and society in general have historically attempted to use that as an excuse to “fix” or “cure” homosexuals. With the exception of male brains being 10% larger than female brains (due to larger overall body structures, a larger brain does not imply intelligence), there are no other real differences between male brains and female brains. To imply so is horribly both sexist and regressive. There may be trends that men tend to use the more logical and mathematical hemispheres of their brains, but I am asserting that socialization, environment, and upbringing play a HEFTY role in that. Likewise for how, in terms of trends, females tend to use the communicative and creative hemisphere of their brain more.
      I’m glad you understand that therapists DO have a tendency to jump the gun instead of getting to the root of the problem.
      And as for a “far more credible person” than myself speaking on this issue, remember that doctors are not in the business of long term health and cures. They are in the business of long term treatment (i.e. money) in the form of pharmaceuticals and outrageously expensive cosmetic surgical procedures.
      Going a little off topic here, but…
      Doctors have, again, made it historically clear that they don’t really give a damn about health. Also recall they frequently exercise nothing but confusion over female anatomy/health. Recall how Victorian era doctors invented vibrators? Why did they invent such contraptions? Because they would get tired of manually stimulating women to “cure” them of hysteria.
      Transition is in a similar boat as the “cure” for the widely debunked “hysteria” condition. That is why I become legitimately concerned when people in general put so much trust in doctors.

      1. If Gallus decides to post my rebuttal to the first reply and this reply you might want to read it. As for trying to cure homosexuals why is it okay to try and cure Transsexuals other than through the surgery that has saved my life? Why is the LGBT hellbent on erasing the use of the word Transsexual and replacing it with the junk science word Transgender? Other than to prop up obviously failed feminist and queer theories there is no legitimate reason. I think your video and referencing what’s happening in Iran speaks volumes to the hatred that many LGBT people in America harbor towards transsexuals. I don’t like whats happening in Iran but have you considered the alternative? Do you really think anytime soon you could convince Iran that homosexuality is OKAY? I don’t believe its possible in the near or distant future so if you want to argue that transsexuals don’t exist for legitimate medical reasons which is what gender trender is attempting to do maybe you should help pull the trigger on those in Iran who will no longer be able to opt for SRS as a way to save their life since if your efforts succeed that will be what happens to them. I’d rather see a few unhappy Transsexuals in Iran then a whole bunch of dead homosexuals and transsexuals in Iran. I guess that just makes a big meanie.

  5. Thank you to all you commenters so far for your solidarity, support, and valid questions/concerns!

  6. Thanks for this! I’m a straight woman and I am stunned by the number of young women who get told that the only way to be a strong women is to become a man. So wrong in so many ways.

    1. Seconding your comment, all of it…! The entire idea of the “lady brain” is offensive to me because it necessarily attempts to put me into a box, to say that I must be and think and feel such and such a way, because I’m a woman, or if I protest that, well then perhaps I’m trans*. I must “really be a man, inside.” It’s nuts.

  7. As a “health care professional” I get the feeling I should weigh in here, but I have nothing to add. Heath does a good job of describing her perspective and experience. I wish her well.

  8. Thank you so much, Heath and Gallus Mag! What an excellent video! You are saving women’s lives with this information.
    Considering how oppressed girls and women are, how patriarchy demands girls and women should look, move, act, sound, etc. to be as unnatural and as demeaned and humiliated as possible, as well as the porny, nightmarish sexual objectifying and assaulting and harassing of all girls and women, it’s amazing really that almost all don’t want to stop being female.
    I never wanted to be male ever, but as a girl I also did not want to be any form of any woman I ever saw. There was not one positive dignified image of any woman anywhere. How do we survive with not only no decent images of women in our lives, but none in the media either? It’s a lot better now than when I was a girl in terms of a few women who look natural, strong, and dignified in the media, but grotesque unnatural pornified/male-identified “feminine” images have also increased.
    Even too many feminists follow the male rules of how women should look, while also harassing and oppressing natural-looking women who refuse to obey those rules. This has to stop if we don’t want more girls and women to be vulnerable to thinking they are “male.”

  9. @amym440 at March 27, 2013 at 11:29 pm
    There is nothing I can say about the basic theories about ″male vs female brains″ that has not be said (and much better than I could), but…
    Did you just DEFEND Iran’s practice to forcibly transition homosexual people?! Your perspective might be a bit blurred by the lie of your own life, but let me make one thing very clear: Alone he THOUGHT to be male makes my stomach cramp and also makes me gag. Literally.
    This ″transitioning″ is not life-saving, it is a very elaborate kind of torture.
    You might as well say about the torture of political prisoners “Well, at least they are not dead as long as they are still tortured, so torture practically prolongates their lives!”
    Shame on you. Not for being ″transgender″, but for promoting torture against homosexual people.
    To the post: It was great joy to watch the video. Thank you Heath and thank you Gallus Mag!

  10. It’s funny. As an African-American, I’ve had the opposite experience of misogyny than a lot of the above have had (and then they claim to speak for all people assigned female at birth, like we are all the same). After 2 generations of seeing my male role-models commit adultery and lie, I never wanted to be a man. I had a grandmother and mother that put femininity on a pedestal and made my brother feel like crap for being born male. Growing up, I was afraid to admit I was male because I was afraid that I’d either become a horrible person like my father and grandfather, or lose the love of my mother and grandmother. I did lose the love of my mother, but I still think being true to myself was worth it. While I experienced some misogyny at school, at home, I experienced full on misandry (talk about confusing). I want everyone to be true to themselves, and realize that things such as race, socio-economic status, colorism, patriarchy, matriarchy, and culture have different intersections, not only on people’s realities, but also on levels of misogyny that people experience. No two people/realities are equal.

    1. I know I’m late, but I really love that a Black person commented. I see this whole “It’s the patriarchy” stuff from White people, same with those who detransition. As a trans man of color (African American), I have come to the realization that I indeed was not harboring internalized misogyny. I grew up with a father who cheated and eventually just left his family for another woman. I hate being compared to him in personality traits. I was constantly told that I am a “Strong black woman” and that no one could take that from me. I reveled in being the only girl who did the “male-type” things. I loved being different, loved being a “strong black woman” but couldn’t understand why I didn’t see being a woman as anything special and why I felt I shouldn’t have been born that way. I’m glad you can relate.

  11. VERY great video. Thank you to Heath for making it and Gallus Mag for putting here where I find out about it.
    Minutes 10 to 15 in particular, I just want to yell “speak it!!” so loudly… NOwhere have I ever heard anyone actually explain “what it’s like to be a girl” “what it’s like to be a boy” or what this “gendered brain” thing is, that didn’t just boil down to a bunch of stereotypes.
    However my brain is, however I think, it’s the brain of a biologically female person and that makes it a “girl brain” however it is. I am not a “guy inside” even if I don’t fit into the “feminine” mold prepared for me, and even IF that also meant I’ve had bad relationships with my body at puberty (hey, realizing society makes you a sex object now SUCKS! This isn’t unusual!!).
    It’s just so great to hear other voices saying this.

    1. seems they know more about their de-transition and some are willing to share their experiences to protect other females from the same fate

    2. Then i guess they aren’t trans. Looks like Heath transitioned for the wrong reasons like many do and that SHOULD be brought to light. I have gender dysphoria. Yes i wear dresses and do all the stereotypical “girly” things but i see that as a symptom. I’m trying to strip away as much “masculinity” as possible because i can’t live a woman without treatment. I dunno what is causing my gender dysphoria but all i know is i am extremely uncomfortable living as a man , being treated as a man, my body feels wrong. I dont care about gender roles at all i just want to be a woman . So much that it is negatively impacting my life and causing extreme emotional pain. just because you think you fit into a gender role doesnt make you that gender. feeling like a “woman trapped in a mans body” does. I dont think Heath is truly gender dysphoric but he doesn’t speak for all of us. Transitioning is not always the wrong choice sometimes its the only good one. Heath is right though people need to be properly diagnosed with gender dysphoria.

  12. Wonderful video Heath. You are now the second FTM detransitioner I actually know. The first, she has gone on to found a female identified Butch Group. That group as far as I know is still running, and she has even questioned Butch Voices and their male assumptions and cooptation of Butch culture for genderqueer/trans FTMs while leaving us lifelong Female Centered Butch Dykes in the dust…..and not even allowing us our own workshops. She kept them going for us. I felt very angry at her, but now, with your share, I’m glad you both have come back to your Lesbian,Female Selves….and learning self love again.
    It also needs to be put out there just how dangerous those hormones are, as well as the MANY stories I’ve heard on how dangerous those breast binders are: on the heart, the lungs and the ribs, just like you described. None of this is getting out because of the trans agenda, and alot of that is I think many young nonfeminine women don’t want to identify with Lesbian/Dyke identity or what’s left of our culture because it puts female first and foremost, and through so much peer pressure they learn to reject it, for the illusion of much greater privileges should they become ‘a man’.
    While I don’t believe one can change sex, and that gender is a social construct, it doesn’t liberate us, doesn’t empower us, and so many are trying to escape the female condition and female oppression by doing so, as well as their own self-hatred. Like you mentioned with Iran, there is a retrograde culture that you gotta ‘fit in’ to a role and a box, and the pressure to do so. Lesbians have always been too wild and free, and often too Butchly for the patriarchy, as well as too autonomous. How more to tie women down by convincing them ‘they must be male’ cuz they are acting more ‘male’ by not taking on female sex role stereotypes and loving other womyn…and that forevermore they must be tied to the MALE medical system through surgeries, hormones and psychiatry.
    I also understand deeply, being a Big Butch Dyke in the 300lb club at present, the pressures accepting our bodies at bigger sizes, as well as being nonfeminine/Butch and Lesbian. NONE of which is accepted by either hetero or even ‘queer’ culture.
    I am glad you are being true to yourself and coming back to owning your femaleness and Lesbianism once again! Welcome home!
    -From a Butch DykeAmazon Sister,
    P.S. Don’t let ’em silence you! We got your back! And great for you for speaking out!

  13. Just want to let Heath know that her old blog url has been hijacked by some idiots so she might want to report that to the tumblr staff.

    1. Hey River, I had reported the imposter to the tumblr abuse team a few weeks ago and they have yet to actually do anything about it despite telling me that they would look into it. My new blog, however, can be found at nymeses.blogspot.com

  14. Heath now that we know who you really are, please stop speaking for trans people. You are not one of us and never was!!! You made a big mistake transitioning like most do… You are one of the many cross dressers who thinks taking hormones will change your gender. Sorry deary you had to be male in your soul for that, and that you are not and never will be. Hate me and other m2f TS’s, but at least I’m not a fake like you were. So now like all the other trans haters and bigots you set out to hurt those who stood by you. Have no fear I have zero interest in rad-fem spaces and hope you keep out of the trans world too. You can spout off all you like, just as I do about rad-fem hate. It’s so sad how ugly you have become… I hope you and all your angry hate fill friends one day find peace in your own skin.

      1. “Lazy fat women who spend their lives on the pity pot tend to irk me too. Why is it always those fat greasy looking butch lesbians who hates on others in the LGBTQ the most???….Beside from what I’ve seen of most of you.. No one wants your lard ass yuckness, so get over yourself already.” – from Hughes’ profile
        Say, Hughes, I can’t help but notice that several of your friends there in the video are carrying some extra weight. They were kind enough to invite you to their party; I wonder if they’re aware of how you denigrate overweight women. But you’re not hateful, right, Hughes? Again, from your profile: “….where I feel free to be who I am and that’s a lover of nature and our mother earth. I’m also a transsexual and feminist, but not a hater of men or anyone….I will not shut up, or sit down until the hate is gone!” Riiiiiiight. Perhaps you should sit down until your hypocrisy is gone, though?
        As to the rape thing, that’s as despicable as it gets. I would never, EVER, wish that upon anyone. With that comment, your true misogynist colors came blasting through. You must be so proud. Again: you’re a woman-hating cliché.
        P.S.: I had to wear a wig for a while after I went through chemotherapy. You do know they can be brushed, right? And even washed?

    1. Wow, for someone who prides himself on being so loving and peaceful, you sure are one hateful mofo, Hughes. Your cognitive dissonance about yourself is rather…staggering, actually. You’re just like so many other MtT out there – rather than going after the men who harm trans people, you attack women who’ve used nothing but words to express why, based upon the entire history of womankind, we have some concerns with how your life sometimes overlaps with ours. We know, we know – it’s always easier and a lot less scary to go after women than men. However, these actions of yours mark you as not only a cliché, but also a coward. (Yeah, yeah, you’ve been spoon-fed the idea that you’re SO! BRAVE! for having “transitioned”, but no. You’re a garden-variety male coward.)
      “I hope you and all your angry hate fill sic friends one day find peace in your own skin.” Right back atcha, Hughes.

      1. No I don’t hate fat women… just greesy angry fat bull dyke lesbian’s that couldn’t get a man if she paid him. As for my friends. They don’t care much for your lowlife kind either. And I was not invited to the party… It was at my house you inbred shallow moron carpet muncher from hell. I don’t hate women or men… Just scumbag radfems like you! But, as I do my research I find there are many other feminist who hate you just as much as any transsexual ever could. You not a very happy group, but we can all see why… Who would want ya.
        Now was that sweet enough for your tiny hag mind?

      2. 1) Um, why would a bull dyke want to get a man?
        2) The party being at your house explains why the video is so dull.
        3) “Carpet muncher” – wow, you’re like a train wreck. You just can’t keep the hate from spewing from your mouth, can you? Between insulting fat women, lesbians, older women (“hag”), and people who “transitioned back”, you sure seem to have a lot of vitriol for such a supposedly loving soul. I mean there’s sizism, homophobia, ageism, and in a weird way, transphobia. Well done, you lover of everyone, you!
        4) I can’t help but notice that you didn’t even address my point about going after violent men instead of women. I didn’t expect you to. But after that comment about rape, I don’t expect any amount of humanity from you. Zip. Nada. None. (Just so you know: I never would’ve said that to you. In fact, if I saw someone hurting you, I’d do my best to help you. I know that muddies the waters, but there you go.)
        5) I’m actually a very happy person! I’m going to the beach today with some friends, yay! Shouldn’t take me long to change into my bathing suit, as I have nothing that needs taping down or tucking in, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. 🙂

  15. Ashland Avenue, For all intensive purposes you are men and I hate all misogyny. Just because you was born with a vagina doesn’t mean your feminine and nurturing by nature.

    1. I’m male and I’ll never be half the man you are, dude.
      Maybe you’re posting from your phone (can’t stop with selfies?) and autocorrect explains “intensive” and “was,” but I don’t expect dudes like you to be smart any more than I require women to be nurturing. That’s some nice essentialism there, bucko!
      “You made a big mistake transitioning like most do”
      Wait, so if transitioning is a mistake for MOST transitioners, why should we allow a process that harms more people than it helps just so a minority with true souls or whatever to be fixed? How selfish would you have to be to take advantage of “medicine” that destroys more lives than it saves?
      You just admitted that SRS should be illegal.
      It’s on record.

    2. “…for all intensive purposes…”
      HA! The phrase is actually for all intents and purposes, you jackass. Learn to write. (I’m being polite and ignoring the other cringe-inducing mistakes in your “writing.”)
      “…you are men…”
      ??? I’m “men”?! Well, nobody has ever mistaken me for a male; I’m on the femme side for sure. And my OB/GYN has never said there was anything amiss. If you mean that you regard me as male, well, there’s nothing I can do about that. But luckily, I don’t care what you think of me.
      As for the nurturing, well, as Anon Male brought up, way to stereotype women there. But then, I don’t expect your thinking to possess much in the way of complexity and nuance, so whatever.

      1. I got a lot of good laughs off of ol’ Collie’s “mastery” of language myself.
        As to the “woman=nurturing” concept, I am under no obligation to nurture everyone in existence. I nurture those I choose, and no others. That’s no more hateful than a man not opening every sticky-lidded jar he may find himself near.

  16. Women are not required to nurture anyone at all. This is sheer patriarchy that demands this of women, thus making sure that women are locked up in homes around the world. I don’t know where the trans comes up with this stereotypical view of women, but it is a clear indicator that women are objects to be consumed like a box of corn flakes. Women are required to perform, and if men come in and perform as women, well they think they are women. Only they do none of the sterotypical work of women–they haven’t volunteered to clean my house, I have yet to see these women cook dinner for other women, but they sure as hell want to run our movement just like men do. I have yet to hear one trans person brag about how he can cook better than any woman, or clean a kitchen better or work for substandard wages better than the bio-woman who works at WAL-MART. No they are men, who only want to crash parties, hog microphones and tell women what to do.

    1. SheilaG, I live in a house of 4 women me included, whether you like my math or not. We all nurture each other from day to day because we all want nurturing in return. You have to give to others what you want from others, or it’s the same as the selfish misogynist do to women. My boyfriend nurtures and loves me because I give him many good reasons to do so. He dumped a nutcase radfem for me. In his words, “You’re much more loving and sensitive than most women I’ve ever known”. That may not be what fits into your world, but I’m not the one getting laid with a strapon either lol. He’s very protective of me as well and I love that. You’re feelings about nurturing are very much the minority in the world, most women love being nurturing towards others. But caring for others is not just about being female either, it’s about being a non evil spirit with whom others matter to.
      From my viewpoint as a heterosexual transsexual woman. It’s a shame you were born with the ability to give birth because you clearly don’t appreciate such a beautiful gift. I said a few things earlier that I now regret, but that doesn’t mean I think you are any more human than before. But regardless of your ill will and hate for myself and other transsexuals, I’ll choose to be loving and giving as a good person should be. That’s what makes me and many others unlike you and thank God for that.
      Deary you’re a minority just as you’ve always been and always will be. I’m only 1% of the world population, as real transsexuals go we are very few and far between. But I don’t need a law to protect me when I pee, never have and never will. However the kind of monsters you and Heath are no law in the world could never protect. This blog shows there’s very good reasons why so many in the world ask you folks to leave their spaces all the time. Including but not limited to most feminist groups that actually matter to women.
      Bottom line: You guys are a hate group just like any other hate group. You’re kind is no better than the redneck, skinhead, or anti semitic woman hating muslims. And only one word is needed to cover what you are “MONSTERS”.

      1. Dude, you’re nothing more than a trans supremacist, your boyfriend’s a misogynist and you couldn’t be more male, paternalistic and condescending if you tried to. Also, you are an abusive, emotionally manipulative, rape-apologist monster and no one believes your dumb bullshit about being sensitive.You sound like a sociopath and a bully and I am perfectly sure all your so-called friends are the same. I am very very glad to be excluded from your spaces and all the spaces your kind visits.
        There, you get exactly from me what you give.
        P.S. You don’t need a law to pee because you look like a fucking psycho and no one wants to mess with a psycho.

        1. OMG Heath I could go into all kinds of details about your trainwreck self…. Heath stay with your hateful kind because you nor any of these creeps fit in with normal cis or trans people. I’ve learned from the vile venom you kind spew that there are many good reason the crazy’s have to want to hurt you. I used to think that was sad, but now realize it’s only the kind of energy you put out that came back. .
          Heath I’m speaking as a trans woman because you are spouting off about you bull crap HRT info. You act like some authority or something. You wasn’t even a real TS so shut up..What HRT did to you?? Heath you had all the classic symptoms of a FAKE TS!!! HRT is not very good for gender dreamers like yourself. You made a cute girl and now look what you did to yourself you look all fucking messed up FOOL. You are gender trender just like you was before, not us… You’re just angry because you couldn’t be a man like in your silly gender dreams. You’re a girl just like myself and other women. But now you’re also a POS hater with a fucked up boy from taking HRT when you had no business doing because you was never a TS. Whatever the fuck your freaky ass is, I knew you was a 100% fake when you told me about wanting to sleep with men as a gay male LMAO. Looks like you have found the right nut case group. They all seem just as mind fucked as you.
          Heath the way I see it and I’m pretty sure the Trans community included. You’re nothing more than a cowardly user and traitor. You deserve whatever the crazy ones threaten you with. As for myself I’m not stalking your gross fat ass… Even though you kissed me in a car one night when I was all smashed. But we wont talk about how you took advantage a fake TS woman. ACK. Heath to be stalked you first have to be desirable to someone and trust me Heath neither you or your whale are desirable to anyone other than maybe Richard Simmons.
          I’ll continue to speak up when I see your BS spew about TS’s in Humboldt and SoCal. You’re the creep and people need to know the truth about your fake ass.

      2. Hate group? Monsters? Dude, you are the only person in this thread wishing rape upon anyone. That says a lot.
        Your boyfriend must be proud.

      3. Monsters, wow. Seems to me that someone’s just delighted that he’s found some women he can openly hate without fear of reprisal. Same old, same old…
        …”I’m not the one getting laid with a strapon either lol.” Well, I’m not the one getting laid with a pseudo-vag that I have to dilate every day to keep from closing, either. I’m getting laid with a real clit, too, and it’s lovely! But dissing aside, Hughes, you are ragingly homophobic. What’s worse is that you’ve convinced yourself that you’re some kind of loving, nurturing person. When I see this: “…but that doesn’t mean I think you are any more human than before”, yeah, that tells me all I need to know about you. For the record, I think you are a human being. A jerk of a human being, but a human being. I don’t expect much in the way of humanity from you, especially after that rape comment (which I notice you’ve still not addressed), but I do think you are human. Sad to see you can’t return the favor.

  17. Delusions of grandeur, the man claming to be a woman, and then insulting and lecturing women as always, and aiming particular hatred at Lesbians. Why would any man believe the propaganda that all Lesbians uses dildos on each other? Of course these men can’t ever imagine the intensity of love, passion, and extent of Lesbian love-making with multiple orgasms on a level that no man could ever know, which we can enjoy for hours, many times a day, without ever using a prick substitute.
    This man may claim to be a “heterosexual transsexual,” but he clearly is just a man pretending to be a woman so he can be with another man without admitting he’s gay. And clearly his man who left a “nutcase radfem” for him, is another self-hating, gay-hating gay man who won’t admit it. (If you believe any of this, since it sounds like typical trannie fantasy-land).
    As I keep saying to the men claiming to be Lesbians, they will never know in a million years what it is like to be intimate with a Lesbian since no Lesbian, by definition, is with men. The variation on this, is that such self-hating men as “Coletta,” who are attracted to other men, will never experience what love and affection there is between proud gay men — because why would those gay men ever pick a man who insists he is a “heterosexual transsexual?” It’s pretty pitiful to end up being two self-hating gay men, one of who has surgered himself irreparably. I’m guessing this knows all this, which explains his rage which he is trying to direct at the Radical Lesbian Feminists and other women here. If he can keep chanting lies about us to himself, then he’s temporarily diverted from seeing what he is in the mirror.

    1. “Why would any man believe the propaganda that all Lesbians uses dildos on each other?”
      YES. Exactly.

      1. There is a misconception among men that All lesbians are exactly like porn-lesbians at the core and the lesbian community is like living in a porno 24/7. They dont seem to understand the culture of victim protection and victim rights.

  18. The best part about this is that you Coletta, hooked up with Heath way back when. Get off your high-horse and leave Heath alone. You can call yourself loving and sweet and caring all you want but all I see is a sad, sad, gay man who is very confused and is lashing out because how dare someone who transitioned realize their mistake, that they were gay and not a different gender, and then try to help others.

    1. Saying ALL trans people are delusional and transitioning is ALWAYS the wrong choice is incorrect and not helping though. Heath shouldn’t be attacked for voicing her opinion But she shouldn’t try to act like her personal experience applies to ALL of us .

    1. And for the record, I told Coletta to leave me alone. Now it looks like Coletta has taken to stalking me all over the Internet. Scary and obsessive.

      1. That is, I told Coletta to leave me alone back in JUNE when I kept getting Facebook messages, a text message, and a voicemail. The stewing and then out of nowhere blowup directed at me is strange, but more importantly uncalled for.

      1. Yes, and fittingly, it was at the end of “Psycho”.
        You know, the one where that guy hallucinates that he’s really his dead mother. And then he kills women while wearing a dress. That one.

    1. Are you under the impression that every person who reads this blog, agrees with Gallus, respect’s Heath’s decision to be true to herself and speak out, and doesn’t agree with you is a lesbian, or is “carpet muncher” just the best knee-jerk insult you could come up with? What are you trying to accomplish here?

      1. Just dishing out the insults as they have been received. I’m actually pretty liberal about what people do in their bedroom. I have both a bf & gf .
        It’s the fake TS’s that irk me, I have not changed one iota on this. The fakes such as Heath give our community such a bad reputation. I came here because this hormonally imbalanced 20 something year old acting like he/she has some real information about being a transsexual. Fact of the matter and above everything, Heath is a 100% failed TS who was never TS to begin with, so now he/she is speaking like as if he/she lived as a TS for many years. Heath failed the most basic part of being a male, the incressed labido that Heath complained about. That screams Heath was never even remotely male. Heath played the trans community and now the player bashes the very people who stood by his fake ass side. That’s why I’m here! Wonder WTF Heath will be next year?? I have no interest in your radfem BS only places and that’s because most women with brains would never get mixed up in this mess. But again it only goes to show how unstable Heath has been all along.
        I really hope you folks find happiness in something more fruitful than bashing another part of the LGBTQ. Most of you run back to the LGBTQ for shelter when shit gets to freaky for you anyhow. I’ve been disassociated from TG/TS/LGBTQ drama stuff for a long time now. (Not to be confused with Heath’s dissociative disorder in any way, which does glaringly show here). However I will speak up about the awful things and Heath is one of the awful things TS’s face. Stalking lmao.. NOT!!! I have bigger fish to fry. Calling out a fake and an enemy to the trans community is why I came here and Heath is the worst kind of enemy TS’s and the LGBTQ faces today. He walked with us and knows our pain and sorrow from the inside, But he now shows his true colors and chooses to hurt us because he/she failed at being one of us. Either that or he/she has such a low self esteem that the radfem lesbian girlfriend changed Heath into a monster. I’m pretty sure it’s the latter.
        Hope you find “you” in the hot mess you wish you was Heath. But be assured, when you speak shit about Trans People you will get shit back from us.

      2. Except for “misgendering” you, I haven’t seen insults pointed at you, Coletta. I’ve seen questions asked and your own words tossed at you, but you’ve said nothing to refute, explain, or defend. I realize being referred to based on your biological sex is upsetting to you, but the insults I’ve been reading here are all coming out of you, and mostly seem to be based on your assumptions about people’s sexual practices.
        You may feel like being called a man is a horrible insult, but we see it as reality. We don’t buy the pseudoscience behind trans arguments. If you met someone who believed they were a horse on the inside, and insisted that you neigh, shake your head, and stomp every time you greeted them, would you feel obligated to participate in their delusion? Would you believe you were giving them the ultimate insult when you acknowledge reality and refer to them as human?
        Maybe you would. I don’t know you. Point is, you’re justifying your hateful, judgemental language on nothing more than the fact that we disagree with you.
        I’m not a lesbian, and I don’t fully line up with every aspect of radical feminism, so I can’t claim any level of spokesperson-ship, but I love and greatly respect the women here. Your vulgar insults are making me itch to respond in kind to defend these women, but this isn’t my blog, and I’m trying to be respectful. It won’t accomplish anything for me to resort to a tone to match yours.

      3. Speaking strictly for myself, I don’t run to the LGBTQ for anything, let alone shelter. Just wanted to throw that out there.
        Teal Deer, I too want to respond in kind to Hughes – and I have plenty up my sleeve – but you’re right, what would that do? Also, I am a lesbian, and I don’t fully line up with every aspect of radical feminism either. Good comments, btw.

    2. Yowza…Hughes is one wacko person. Between the homophobia, the sizeism (sizism?), ranting, and bizarre animosity toward Heath…well, Hughes, you need help.

    3. @Coletta 5:53
      “The fakes such as Heath give our community such a bad reputation.”
      You’re not doing too bad a job yourself, there, Coletta.
      “Heath failed the most basic part of being a male, the incressed labido that Heath complained about. That screams Heath was never even remotely male.”
      What? Is this man complaining that a woman’s “labido” is inadequate? Jeebus. Hoocouldanode.

  19. Coletta Hughes, the amount of vitriol spewing from your posts is mind-boggling, especially coming from a person claiming to be full of love and nurture. Why u hate wimminz so much, dood? Esp. da dykez? Is it bc we are what you want to be and never can? What do you see when you look in the mirror? Or at your many selfies? Are you trying to find one that looks female? When you can’t, does it make you mad? Is that what triggers your hate?
    There’s nothing wrong with being gay, dude. Not for us and not for you. You can be with your bf without pretending to be a woman. Lose the misogyny and homophobia, man. You’ll feel better.

  20. Coletta, you need to back off Heath, this is harassment and your male entitlement is showing when you keep returning to a space you aren’t welcome at. All your pages say you preach love, but I have seen is you attack a young woman. You need to step-off, Heath has asked you to leave her alone, and just because you found a different and more indirect platform does not make this behavior acceptable. You are 51 years old, grow the hell up.

      1. I keep deleting this carpet munching crap out of my mailbox, but you bunch of whack jobs are way over obsessed. Kinda reminds me of how men get locked on your boobs when talking to you and can’t stop looking, even when you tell them. But hey at least you people are way funny… Looking!! Get a life you bunch of beastly over masculine hatemongers lmao. You might try getting some dick every once in awhile, I’d be as fucked as you creeps if I didn’t get fucked real good once in awhile… With a non plastic dick those fake ones do get me there. Ciao :p

  21. Wow, Hughes’ drivel is a rethorical gift if I ever saw one.
    “No I don’t hate fat women… just greesy angry fat bull dyke lesbian’s that couldn’t get a man if she paid him.”
    An amazing statement that should be quoted away at every libfem out there.

  22. Coletta on the comment box it literally has a box that you need to check ” Notify me of follow-up comments via email.
    Notify me of new posts via email.’ to be getting this “carpet munching crap out” of your mail box. We don’t want you in this space, and your immature crap is going to bite you in the ass really soon.

    1. For someone as illiterate as Hughes, I don’t expect him to be able to use the internet. And you’re right, Evi: Hughes, grow the fuck up.

  23. http://nymeses.tumblr.com/
    ***someone needs to change this….or take it down…
    “I’m Transphobic
    My name is Heath and I live to harass trans people because I made a mistake and thought I was trans. I also hate men. I’m a catch.”

    1. Dear Women: when you abandon your tumblr domain or move your blog to another carrier, transgender men (“transwomen”) will colonize your site, impersonate you, and portray you as “man hating”. Yes, yes, even though said “transwomen” claim to actually “BE women”. It makes sense to them. Because they are men. Do make a note of it. Women who are lesbian or feminist will be especially targeted by “transwomen”, because “transwomen” hate lesbians and feminists. Lesbians and feminists center our attention on actual women, and are therefore the “enemy” of “transwomen” (men).

  24. Gallus you are still linking to the hacked blog:
    (snip) Heath (snip snip snip snip) has received from some members of the transgender community for speaking publicly about her experiences at her blog, which is here: http://nymeses.tumblr.com/

  25. Looks like Heath transitioned for the wrong reasons like many do and that SHOULD be brought to light. I have gender dysphoria. Yes i wear dresses and do all the stereotypical “girly” things but i see that as a symptom. I’m trying to strip away as much “masculinity” as possible because i can’t live a woman without treatment. I dunno what is causing my gender dysphoria but all i know is i am extremely uncomfortable living as a man , being treated as a man, my body feels wrong. I dont care about gender roles at all i just want to be a woman . So much that it is negatively impacting my life and causing extreme emotional pain. just because you think you fit into a gender role doesnt make you that gender. feeling like a “woman trapped in a mans body” does. I dont think Heath is truly gender dysphoric but he doesn’t speak for all of us. Transitioning is not always the wrong choice sometimes its the only good one. Heath is right though people need to be properly diagnosed with gender dysphoria.

    1. “all i just want to be a woman” (sic)
      Pray tell how exactly do you intend to “become a woman”.
      Cue “hormones and a bunch of plastic surgery”.

  26. I’m a gay trans man. I wanted to be a boy at age 8 and was miserably jealous of my friend’s penis. I was disgusted by my body and the bodies of all women during puberty. I have never been attracted to women. I have always only wanted to top pretty feminine gay men with the penis I can only get through eventual surgery. Not all trans men were ever butch lesbians. I sure as hell wasn’t. As a matter of fact, I can’t find a group of people with whom I have less in common.

  27. My my how the tides have turned… Seems you nut case rad rash fems aren’t very welcome most places anymore. I think it’s ironic how hate turn back at you to bite you in the backside. I feel proud when I look my name up on the internet and see how you haters spew lies about me. I see Heath and it’s girlfriend are still members of club morbidly obese. (I say it because I have no idea what gender it is)

    1. This man, “Coletta Hughes” is involved in criminal charges for stalking and harassment, among other alleged charges. The above comment is criminal evidence. Do not respond to it.

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